Who the hell are the Kardashians, and why do they get their own reality show and I don’t?
My family is fun, quirky, and possibly has an edge on total IQ over the Kardashian’s. So what if my hubby isn’t a retired Olympic athlete, he did get solicited to play for the Cincinnati Reds AND he slept at a Holiday Inn Express once. I certainly haven’t crossed to the dark side and tried anal bleaching yet, but I have considered braving a Brazilian bikini wax once or twice. (I’m Italian and my ‘waxologist’ keeps threatening to charge me for a bikini wax AND a leg wax! Major WTF!!!)
Hell, with a good script and a few outfits from Armani instead of Target and we could DEFINITELY be the next reality show. Don’t you think?
Gettin’ Down with the Matthews! (& my 6′ 15 yr old neice!)
So what is it about reality shows that makes America go gaga for watching the ridiculousness of the ‘staged and scripted’ antics of attention seeking idiots? It MUST be boredom, or quite possibly an influx of fortuitous lobotomies.
Jersey Shore, rated #1 in 2011; Poorly dressed and sorely educated ‘Mob-Wanna-Be’ adolescents pushing the boundaries of appropriateness for the sake of getting noticed in life. Their bios say nothing of value towards their true worth as contributory American citizens. Oh wait…I’m wrong! Their bios say this about them: Snooky had and eating disorder, Mike The Situation has rock hard abs and was an exotic dancer, Jwoww got herself new boobs for her 21st birthday, Pauly D was once a ‘DJ’ and the highest accolades go to Sammi, who is known for her great body thanks to her college soccer days. No mention of a degree or her intelligence, however. This show is #1 in America!
19 Kids and Counting? Do the Duggers realize we have a population issue on this planet? Does Michelle realize there is only so much one uterus and one vagina can take? I’m a thorough believer in: the kids should never outnumber the parents. Probably some good babysitting pointers, though.
Do I really need to watch law breaker, Kody Brown, as he services his five illegal wives in Sister Wives? Polygamy is illegal in all fifty states. Why is he on a TV show? Which wife gets his medical coverage? (I would enjoy a dedicated laundry sister, though.)
Teen Moms – “OMG!…Let’s get preggers, Ashley so we can get famous on that show TEEN MOMS…they’re looking for girls for next season!”
And don’t get me going on Dance Moms – get your kid out of there before that woman psychologically damages them any more than you already have by signing them up and dressing them like that! Can that AbbyLeeMiller-monster even dance? And yes…It’s AbbyLeeMiller…one word, not Abby.
A list of other brain-numbing, intelligence-insulting, youth-misleading reality shows? The Bad Girls Club, Being Bobby Brown, The Housewives of XXX, Gene Simmons Family Jewels (some of the episodes were TOTALLY made up, like when he bought an Australian football team) Big Brother, Toddlers and Tiara’s…must I go on? The Bachelor? God, how desperate can you get? Fighting over a man (or woman) on national TV?
Now, there are some reality shows worth watching, shows that actually broaden a viewer’s horizons or allow then to learn something about life. American Pickers is one of my favorites being treasure hunter myself. But at least there is something to learn from that. Intervention, Hoarders, Deadliest Catch, Survivor… I even think Swamp People is a hoot! At least you can tweak a few nerve synapses with these shows.
Now don’t get me wrong. Do I tune in for a few laughs and some great book fodder? Of COURSE I do…so, I’m as guilty as the rest. But you have to admit, it’s a pretty embarrassing display of how Americans spend their time.
Nurse Chronicles–Tonight’s episode: MD Cover- Ups
Your Cheatin ’Art – Follow the antics of Americans and Not-So-Legal Americans as they find cheating ways to live high on the hog off the government (you and me!!!). Foodstampers rage at register because Rootbeer isn’t ‘food-stampable’ then climb into their Cadillac Escalade. Free Lunchers play Words with Friends on their I-phones while standing in line at Starbucks every morning, Disability recipient makes MVP in town softball league.
Let’s hear it out there gang. What’s your opinion of reality shows?
What reality show would you like to produce?
I’m signing off so I can gather my Coors Light and my pork rinds and get settled in to watch Snookie have sex with two men on Jersey Shore re-runs for a mere $100,000 per episode. Yes …$100,000. Ah…It’s good to live in America!
I definitely went into the wrong business…I should have gone into show biz. It would have been a lot more lucrative than 6 years of college!