Let’s talk about sex…uh huh… Okay…so I’m almost 50, (getting the hint that this aging thing is really bugging me?) talking about sex is, what? Creepy for an ‘aging’ woman? Nuh uh!!! No way, Jose! I’m right smack dab in the middle of my sexual peak! My hubby keeps saying, “Where the hell was this sex kitten 20 years ago!”
I don’t know what’s come over me! Maybe it’s the thought that if I don’t use it, I’ll lose it, or something.
Sex is wonderful. However, as women, I believe many of us have been raised to think that if we embrace our sexuality, or enjoy sex too much, we are somehow slutty or whoreish. WTF! Let me say that again…WTF!
It’s really not fair. Men who are sexual are often admired by men and women alike. But society has once again managed to stifle women, shove them into that pigeonhole from earlier decades that being sexual, liking sex, wanting sex, experimenting with sex is a no-no for women.
Yes, times are changing. I can see that by the captioins on women’s magazines like ‘Feel Great Naked, Have Stronger Orgasms, Answers to Your Naughty Sex Questions’…But truly, don’t you scoff on the outside when you see these magazines? Yet, on the inside you are dying to pick it up and take it home to read so you can satisfy the sensual woman in you?
We still have that inner guilt, that inner voice that says ‘good girls don’t do that stuff.’ Why the hell not? I’m in a loving, monogomous relationship! I want to be able to be racy and wild and sexy and hell yes…naughty! I want my husband to revel in the vixen he has. I want to make our relationship as strong as it can possibly be, I want to bond us so tightly by sharing things so intimate and building that trust that we never think of letting each other go.
Am I a slut for that? I don’t think so. So how do I get there? How do I find my inner Sex Goddess?
I start by picking up one of those ‘silly’ magazines and start reading about how to have a better orgasm…that’s what I do!!! (tee hee)
So I’m in a sharing mood…and here’s what I’ve learned and what we are all gonna try this week gang!
1. Sexting: Nothing gets a person in a hotter mood then hearing (or reading) the sexy things that are on your mind. Have trouble (embarrassed) verbalizing things? Text or Write naughty love words to your other. I’ve been married 21 years and in the past year I’ve forced myself to share my inner thoughts with my husband…finally…he feels like he is married to a whole new person, he says its such a turn on cause he never knew the real me because I was always too embarrassed to share. The more I work at it, the better I become at it.
2. Oral Sex: Don’t you dare say Blech! This is not just a physical act. It is an emotional sharing of trust and the utmost intimacy. Many people believe oral sex is so much more intimate than pentrating sex. If you are opposed to it…start slowly, after a shower together. Buy a good video and the art of oral sex. Find out what is best for you and your partner and work up to it. Most people feel oral sex is many times more fullfilling than any other type of sex because of the intimacy shared.
3. Talk: The mind is a powerful thing. During sex, it is directly connected to the G-spot. Well not really, but hypothetically. The mind controls the intimacy.
Did you feel that little tingle? I know I did. Hearing how each other feels, what you want, naughty talk, being that sensual, sexual being during sex, changes all the rules. It takes you out of reality and into a sultry world where sensation is the master. Words are the most powerful aphrodesiac. Don’t be shy.
4. Toys: Yay! Ever venture into an adult toy shop? You have to do this. My girlfriends and I make a jaunt every few months just for fun and giggles and we never leave without buying something new to try. The clerks in the store love to talk to customers and show you how everything works. They will even put the batteries in for you!!
First purchase: Vibrator. Nothing fancy (and oh, believe me, do they make fancy vibrators.) In a survey…90% of men found it an unbelievable turn on to watch their woman pleasure herself. Weird huh…But hey, if it makes your man think you are a sex goddess and it brings you closer by providing that intimacy, then give it a try…You can do it! I know you can.
Second purchase: Lubricating lotion. Fun flavors, fun scents, use it on him, on you, on your toys.
Third purchase: Constriction ring….for your man. I had no idea what this was when I saw it in the store. My BFF had to explain and force me to buy it. A small elastic ring that your man wears that enhances his erection! It also is supposed to make his orgasms more powerful for him. Simple little toy. Some come with little vibrating things on them so you can feel them too! Great engineering if you ask me.
Need I say more…
5. Educate yourself. There is sooo much to learn about sex and intimacy. Read those magazines. Get to know your partner better, his secret inner thoughts, by taking those fun quizes with your partner. You’ll be shocked at some of his answers that will give you a peek into the sexual person you didnt realize you had on your hands! Buy a few educational videos (not porn…they are just slot a into slot b…not my thing…)
Did you know:
* A man has G-spots? The ridge just under the head of his penis and the perineum…the area between his testicles and his anus. Touch him there and he is a goner.
* Men love to hear you moan during sex. It builds their egos. (Don’t forget to build your hubby’s confidence every day by telling him how great he is. The more confident he feels about himself in your relationship, the more confident he is in bed! (oohh la la!!! Take me! I’m yours!)
* Women can ejaculate too.
* The head of a man’s penis has the same number of nerve endings as a woman’s clitoris. hmmmm.
* A woman’s clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone! The part you see is the tip of the wishbone…then their are two 3″ long legs that run internally along your labia. Lots of nerve ending for your man to explore…not just the ‘tip of the iceburg.’
*The first reason God created sex was for procreation. The second was to forge a bond between man and woman to sustain a monogomous relationship. Hey…I’m alllllll in.
There’s a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God.
— Sarah Miles
So…How do you feel about sex? Are you inhibited by society’s ‘gag order’ on women? Have you been raised to be ‘the good girl’ where sex is not to be enjoyed? My Catholic roots are showing here….
Sex is wonderful, beautiful, bonding, erotic, and fun! An older man once told me when I was young and naive: “You women just don’t get it…if you would just give your man good sex once every few days, he would give you the world on a silver platter. We are simple creatures.”
(insert your face below)
Let’s take back our rights to enjoy sex! Before Father Time tells Mother Nature that we are all ‘dried up’!!!
I’d love to hear your opinions and have you share some of your ideas for a better sex life. Now GET SHOPPING and let your partner know how you feel about him by letting that inner Sex Goddess go!!
Thanks, Cosmopolitan Magazine!