Sometimes Ya Gotta Be Wrong…To Be Right.

FIGHTING FOR WHAT’S RIGHT

Dear Opinions-R-Us ,

I saw my best friend’s husband with another woman.  She doesn’t know about it, but I do.  I’m racked with guilt over keeping this secret from my friend and feel the need to tell her so she can see the creep for the cheatin’ snake he is. What do I do?

Signed, Avenging Angel in Sisterhood

Dear Avenging Angel,

Join a convent and keep your big trap shut!  Honesty is not always the best policy.  You are NOT part of their marriage and regardless, you don’t know the whole truth behind the infidelity. If there are problems in your friend’s marriage, believe me, she knows and is dealing with it as best she can for the time being. If hubby made a grave mistake and has learned from his mistake that his wife is the most important thing in his life, he will never make an idiodic mistake like that again.  All you will do by telling her the truth is cause her pain forever. If hubby repeats his mistake, she will figure it out on her own in her own time. Be there for her, love her, support her.  Keep your big fat nose out of their troubles and worry about your own.

Signed,   Opinions-R-ME….Josie….

Okay….so as the saying goes…Opinions are like a##holes…everybody has one (or two or three…).  But let’s talk about some controversial issues… When you might be called on to do something wrong for the right reasons.

 PS…All opinions here are strictly MINE…JOSIE’s…Not Misty’s!  I would never throw my BFF under my opinionated big-mouth bus!

When Wrong might really be Right

You Chick Swagger Readers are now assigned to the editorial staff of Opinions-R-Us!  Let’s hear your valued responses to some of the most controversial topics I can think up.  Our country is in a state of confusion and controversy.  Many of us don’t ever get the opportunity to put in our two cents.  Or we are afraid to because let’s not forget…we want people to like us. 

Well, sometimes a BLOG is just the place to tweak your emotions, make you a little uncomfortable, make you think outside your box, a place to give you the chance to say what’s really on your mind and STILL be loved and accepted.

Chick Swagger is that place.  We LOVE opinions.  Opinions are meant to be challenged, re-thought, watered-down and firmed-up.  They are meant to be discussed and respected.  So let’s get to it!

Dear Opinions-R-Us, 

The love of my life, Bartholomew, is suffering from kidney failure, severe arthritis in his hips and legs, incontinence, and blindness.  He is bed-ridden and is being fed through a tube in his stomach.  He is unable to communicate and suffers from severe pain due to stage four bone cancer.  This is no quality of life for Bartholomew.  My heart dies a little everytime I think of who he used to be and what has become of him.  He wouldn’t want to live like this..?

Signed, Love my labrador to death.     

Josie’s two-and-a-half cents: Put that dog to sleep! For god-sakes, woman!  You are keeping him alive because YOU want him to be alive!  How selfish!

BUT: Bartholomew is a creation of God.  Is he not? (Now we are getting into the taboo topic of religion, but it can’t be helped when talking about euthanasia…)  

Why then do people argue that it is kind and just to euthanize an animal, but not a human being?

What if Bartholomew was your 87 year old father?  What if his pain was so great and his quality of life without dignity or joy? Would you call Dr. Kevorkian?  

 I would so vote to legalize euthanasia…I never want to live to be a burden to the ones I love if I could no longer be myself.  But that just MHO…(my humble opinion). 

What would you do if you had the opportunity to place the deciding vote to legalize Euthanasia? Or even more controversial…could you end someone’s life?     

Dear Opinions-R-Us,

My fifteen-year-old daughter asked me to take her to Planned Parenthood so she could go on the birth control pill.  I am shocked and at a loss. I didn’t even know my daughter was interested in sex or even knew that much about it at this age. She has been dating what I thought was a nice boy for 6 months now. I don’t want her having sex! But if she is determined, I suppose I can’t stop her, and I do not want her getting pregnant. Obviously my lectures have meant little to nothing. At least she is being honest with me. I’m warming up the car now for our trip to Planned Parenthood. Should I keep it running?

Signed, Little girl growing up too fast  

Josie’s two-and-a-half cents: Shut the God-damned car off!!!!  You give that little girl the pill and she totally forgoes using condoms which exposes her to the 50-something sexually transmitted diseases floating around out there! Gee…thanks for the chlamydia, Mom!  Talk more…lecture more…tell her more about the emotional risks, the STD risks even with condoms. Keep talking till you are blue in the face but for God’s sake…Don’t YELL!  Don’t shut down the delicate trust she has in you that she could even come to you in the first place.  Keep her coming to you. Keep her talking and PRAY for the best. Stay involved.

25% of girls and 30% of boys have sex by age 15, 21% of 9th graders have slept with four or more partners, 50% of 17 year olds have had sex, 80% of teens have sex by age 19, 55% of teens ages 13-19 have engaged in oral sex. OUCH! 

Dear Opinions-R-US,

I’m a third grade teacher.  A student of mine has reported that her mother’s fiancee has touched her innapropriately and has made ‘weird’ comments to her. I’ve notified Child Protective Services, but the case has been deemed ‘unfounded.’ Since, the child has become withdrawn, and her grades have slipped.  She has told me that she cannot tell anyone what is happening cause Mommy ‘got really mad.’ On Friday’s, when she is to be staying for the weekend with her mother, the child’s anxiety is palpable as dismissal approaches. I’ve filed for a re-investigation, but have been denied. The mother and fiancee are prominent business people in the community. I’ve exhausted all legal avenues, but I am positive this child is being sexually abused. She has since been removed from my class by the mother on the grounds of ‘harrassment.’ This child needs someone’s help before it’s too late, if it already isn’t.  y professional reputation (I’m risking suspension) and my own family atmosphere (my children are hearing comments in school) are now being affected by this horrible situation. What do I do? 

Signed, Ready to kill…seriously.

Josie’s two-and-a-half cents: Hire a PI! If you’re instincts are correct…you may be the only hope for this kid. But are we really responsible for saving the world?  When it’s not our own family, do we just say, ‘Oh well…not much I can do…pass the ketchup’? What happens when it’s a community member’s life vs. your own family’s well being?            

Okay, my Chick Swagger beauties!  Let’s put those brilliant, compassionate minds to work and think outside the box.  We are all progressive thinkers, writers, and voracious readers.  Answer these desperate people!  Work your ‘Dear Abby’!  

When is Wrong Really Right? Is it ever? Could you ever take that step and do anything illegal for the absolute right reason? Are there any controversial subjects you always wanted others’ opinions on? Voice them here! 

Love you and all your varied opinions!  Josie…

Comments

  1. Cheating husband: I would only tell the wife if she was my BFFL. Any woman deserves to know if her husband in a scum bag but I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying anything unless said woman was my absolute best friend. Imagine if she found out I knew and I didn’t say anything? That would be trouble.

    Teen sex: Teens are going to have sex whether they have permission or not. Whether it’s right or wrong. The last thing I would want is to have my daughter accidentally get knocked up. I would get her BC but at the same time have her promise to use condoms as well. If our relationship is that trusting and that close, I’d have trust in her to keep that promise. I would definitely educate her on the subject of sex and STDs, etc.

    Child Abuse: I would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that child is no longer being abused and out of that terrible home. Even if that means losing my job, getting arrested, etc. It’s the right thing to do.

    Euthanasia: This is a touchy subject. This is us playing God (or Creator) with our own lives. Suicide is unacceptable and Euthanasia is essentially the same thing. A person who suicides may be mentally ill, BUT they are hurt, they are in pain, and they can bear no longer to go on- just like one who Euthanizes. The difference is someone who is suffering from an illness can be made more “comfortable” through drugs and other medical means. One who suicides feels that there is no other way out or no way to ease their pain. So no, I feel Euthanasia is unacceptable for humans.
    For animals, it is deemed more acceptable because said animal cannot speak. They cannot tell us their pain thus, it’s more difficult to determine their needs. Also, insurance doesn’t cover animal medical costs (as it does for humans) thus, it’s more expensive to keep said animal alive.

    Those are my opinons! Sorry for the long, drawn out comment!!

    • This is perfect! No apologies needed when you’re here (unless you’re being an outright bitch). LOL – as if! :D

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Anna, Thats what Iove about you! You are a thinker! I love thinking women! I never even thought about the part that since animals can’t express themselves it becomes our responsibiity so to speak. Really good opinion there, lovey. Im with you on all the rest…Euthanasia is such a hard one…and personal one.
      I love it when our readers make me think differently about things! I feel so loved!
      I dont know if I’d tell my BFF unless I was sure he was an up and up bastard. The universe seems to have its own time table and I would think I’d trust the ‘all in due time’ thing… but I’m not really sure! See!!! Now you went and made me think!!!
      Love you and all your opinions! J

  2. Holy CRAP, Josie! You’ve opened the proverbial can of worms – which is no less than I’ve come to love and expect from you! :)

    CHEATER: Anna has a great point about “what if she found out I knew and didn’t say anything.” If it was a BFFL, I would probably go to the guy first and have a Come-to-Jesus with him, telling him he’d better come clean or I’d tell her myself.

    TEEN SEX: I’m right there with Anna again. The pill, the condom, and the talk (many of them, over time). This is not something that just pops up out of the blue one day. You and your kids should be having age-appropriate discussions all the time. Case in point, I had a frank discussion with my 7 year old son a couple of weeks ago about vaginas. I was matter of fact, but didn’t give him too much info that he’d be totally freaked out. At the end of our really great convo, I hugged him and told him he could ask me anything, anytime. I grew up this way in my own household (even with my dad in on the conversation), so this is pretty much a no-brainer for me.

    CHILD ABUSE: There’d be just no way I could sleep at night knowing a child was being molested, and I was doing nothing about it. Sometimes you have to get down and dirty to get to the other side. The truth always comes out in the end.

    EUTHANASIA: I totally get people’s motivation for this. Seeing a loved one in pain and not themselves is devastating. But I just couldn’t do it. I’d make sure they were as comfortable as possible, be with them as much as I could, but it’s not my decision when they are supposed to die. I’ve never been in this situation, though, so maybe I’d change my mind? I doubt it, but I’ve learned to never say never. I do, however, respect people’s choices to forego any heroic life-saving procedures like being hooked up to life support. The difference there is that their death would be a natural occurance.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Misty! A Come- to-‘Josie’ sit down with the hubby is a great idea! Never even thought of that. Id bring my boxing gloves too, just to make sure he gets my point! Nice one Dear Misty! Hated having such a serious topic but I figured to mix it up from all the petunia-sex-makeup lovin’ mojo we’d exercise our minds and morals a bit! And look how smart and level-headed you are! On a bad day I’d put tobasco in the hubby’s jock strap, lock the kid in a chastity belt, mix a cocktail for Bartholomew, and chop off said fiancee’s c@@k with a rusty butter knife. But hey, hopefully I’d take my prozac and touch base with nice people like you first. You’d save me from my bad-ass self.
      Love you! J
      PS I’d wear that ‘hawt’ Wonder Woman Suit too….in a size 12 of course!

  3. Wow, controversial stuff, Josie.

    I agree with Misty on the cheating spouse. I’d confront him.

    With the child abuse issues, I’d do whatever it took to get the child away from the situation.

    Teens are going to have sex. I would definitely keep the lines of communication open and not yell. And we would have a serious discussion about how BC doesn’t stop communicable diseases. I might try and set up some one-on-one time with a young woman who contracted AIDs or herpes, things that never go away. Sometimes reality doesn’t penetrate the teenage mind.

    Euthanasia is a given for me. Difficult for sure if it comes to that, but my husband and I have discussed it, and we’ve made a pact that we won’t let the other one suffer when there’s no hope or ability to communicate. I’m not sure that takes it out of God’s hands, because God gave us free will. That means we’ll have some tough choices to make. I only hope I make the right ones. I have no idea what I would actually do if the situation arose.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      LJ! Nice!!!! The euthanasia thought that if God gave us free will (thanks Adam and Eve! @#&%$) then he gave us the right to choose for ourselves!!! I also have a pact with a friend that she will do me in if I become a burden to my family and can’t live some quality of life. I chose a friend because I know my hubby would NEVER be able to do it. She just has to leave a nice little bottle of pills within my reach…no with my luck I won’t be mobile when/if the time comes. Sad topic to make jokes about but being a nurse I have seen so much in my life that colors my heart view. Life is hard, laugh.

      Thanks LJ! Love you and Miss you!…

      PS Everyone wants to help the little girl being abused, BUT what would you do for her? How far would you be willing to go? That’s the hard question… .

  4. I would not want to be the last to know about my husband, but I also wouldn’t want some friend, who isn’t that great of one, telling me about it either. So…I guess it depends on how close of friends we are. Like others said, if it was my BFF she would be finding out someway, somehow, somewhere.

    As for the birth control topic. I love that Misty had a great relationship with her family growing up and talking about things like that. Me, not so much. I’m trying to do better with my kids. I know they are scared of disappointing me, but I was just plain scared to death to even talk about sex or wanting to have it when I was younger.

    The child being abused really gets me. I went to school with a friend who, although wasn’t being molested, was not treated nicely at home, and sometimes hit. I have recently reconnected with her and asked her if she ever knew of a child being hit what would she do? Her answer was that she would do whatever possible to remove the child from the home as soon as possible because as they grow up in that environment they will actually learn to lie to protect their parents because they don’t want to leave their home, even if it sucks. She knew from experience. So I would do the same. I wouldn’t want that child to turn into a high school student who can lie straight faced to social services while sporting a black eye. I’d do whatever it takes.

    Euthanasia. I can’t judge other people’s actions if I haven’t been there myself on this one. I know I can make the decision to end life support, but as for anything else I am unsure. Let’s hope I never have to find out.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      OMG Mandy, You really put so much thought into your response and Im so proud of you! Many people might randomly say, Yeah, I’d help…” But the thought behind how, and how it would effect their own lives is left undiscovered.
      Open lines of Communication with childen is paramount if you want to know what is going on in their lives. As well as a ‘safe place’ where they can get their questions answered without being judged or punished. A VERY hard job for parents who only want to protect their children. DO IT! Bite your tongue and let your child talk. Put your own fears aside for the sake of creating this important bond with your child.
      Your friend who was abused. What a wonderful resource for all of us. There are so many forms of abuse; sexual, physical and emotional. The course of childrens’ lives are forever changed because of it and many times the cycle of abuse continues generation after generation.
      I thank you and your friend for your wonderful , candid insight!
      Love J

  5. Oh boy – I think my stress level rose by just reading these things let alone thinking about how I’d act.
    The cheater? Hmmm? I once told a girlfriend that I saw her finance making out with a girl – I wanted her to know what a creep he was. She never talked to me again. I was young. In hindsight – I should have confronted him and told him to tell her and I better hear about it or I would tell her. But would I?
    I don’t know – somethings are better left unsaid. I have friends who’ve cheated on their husbands and never told – they are fine today – so I don’t know. I’ve known others who cheated and destroyed their families. I guess it would depend on who I saw do what.
    Euthanasia: My sister is a nurse and we often have these conversations. Could it be that the medical establishments are playing God by unnaturally prolonging life in chronic situations? I’d hate to be in the position to make the decision to cut off someone’s life support. I guess it’s best to encourage everyone to tell their wishes to their loved ones now so if the time comes, tough decisions can be made in the person’s favor.
    No children – ha! I’m not answering the one about Planned Parenthood.
    If I was told by a child they were being molested – I’d do whatever it took to remove the child from the situation. People can be odd though, this reminds of a girl I worked with. Her mother’s new husband molested her and her sister when they were young. They’d told their mother, were removed from the home and went to live with a grandmother while their mother CHOSE to stay with the man even though there was evidence.
    What would I do? I’d call the First Witness hot line and seek their expertise.
    Tough questions. Funny how my answers would have been different when younger I guess it all depends on the situation.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Kylie, Of course we have to stress you out once in a while! We can’t always talk about love, sex and bikini waxings! But I’ve got lots more juicy mojo on the brain to share in the future!
      Great thoughts on these topics. I love that youve had experience with the whole boyfriend cheating thing. Tought one isnt it? Even though I’d die if I ever found out my hubby cheated, I still think that one infidelity for a person who is ‘confused’ can sometimes ‘scare them straight’ and they can be a better partner after that. But if the other partner knew about it….Ouch…
      I think us nurses (like your sister and I) see things so differently than alot of people. Its one thing to not take steps to prolong life…but could we or should we end someones life? WOW…tough one. This post is a good lesson never to judge others cause you never know till you are in these situations.
      First Witness hotline? Ive never heard of it but would love to hear more!!!!
      Thanks so much for your opinions girlfriend!!!
      Love J

      • Josie, I love your point about never to judge others…this was my new year’s resolution – to be less judgmental. I’ve got a long way to go in this respect, but it’s made me a better human being already. IMHO, of course! lol :)

  6. Lots to think about Miss Josie……I am like a wet noodle….I can change my mind/opinion 100 times and still feel like I didn’t do the right thing…..I love you and your blog! See you tomorrow!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Jenny, Have faith in your opinion! What makes you think you always have to second guess yourself? Your opinion is just that, YOUR opinion. It’s neither right nor wrong. It’s how you feel. Just think. Maybe your opinion will help someone find happiness someday…or maybe come up with the answer for world peace…or maybe just help someone solve a dilemma… Who knows. But it will never happen if you dont have faith in yourself and the goodness inside you. You are loved!

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