Anyway, I caved and bought the 50 Shades book. I enjoyed it for the sheer vicarious thrill, so I got the second one. This time I’m stalled around a third of the way in, but nevertheless, I think the trilogy’s success is a wonderful thing. Anything that gets people more aware of and comfortable with their sexuality is a good thing. And no, this post isn’t about the books themselves, but rather, what we can take away from the phenomenon. Specifically…
Kink can be exciting. And liberating. And another way to bond (take that however you like) with your partner.
How much kink is, of course, a personal thing. And life can get in the way: jobs, kids, bills, errands, housework, health, etc. But if you found yourself enjoying the 50 Shades Trilogy, take heart, you’re a passionate creature. Relaxing some of your inhibitions doesn’t happen overnight, but even little steps can breath new life into your sexual relationship.
Now before you read any further, repeat after me:
It doesn’t matter what shape, size, or age I am.
Your man is gonna think you’re a goddess when you start paying more attention to your sexual self. Have a little faith in him and in yourself.
Are you ready then? Don’t worry, this is just the warm-up for this little series I’m starting. Okay? Here we go!
Kinky Game Plan 1: Think & Talk Dirty – Outside the Bedroom
Even if it’s just a little. The thinking part comes first. Plan what you’re going to say, so that by the time you actually say it, you’ll be crackling with energy, and your words will have an even more potent effect.
Scenario: When your man gets home from work (or when you get home, if you get home later), drop whatever you’re doing and smile mysteriously as you walk up to him (It’s okay if you giggle a little too - it’ll snag his attention even more.). Put your arms around him and kiss him (lips, neck, nip/lick his ear, whatever you’re comfortable doing at this point). Ask him how his day was. If it was good, say something like, “Oh, fantastic. It must be your lucky day then because I want to make it even better tonight.”
If it was only a so-so or even a crappy day, your dialogue will be all about giving him a ‘happy ending.’ For example, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, sweetie, but I think I know how to make you feel so much better…”
And then…leave it at that. If he asks what you have in mind, don’t give it all away. Be mysterious. Throughout the evening, pepper your interactions with graphic innuendos, touching (see KGP3 below) and whispered *hints* of what you want to do with him or how you’re feeling.
Examples: “I can’t wait until you strip my clothes off.” or “I can’t stop thinking about you.” or “Blow. Job.” or “Be ready.” or “Is it time for the kids to go to bed yet?” or “I want your hands/lips/mouth all over me.” or “Have you taken your heart medication? Cause you’re gonna need it.” or…you get the idea.
As far as innuendos go, eating is a great time to make your man’s heart pound…If you really want to make him sweat, popsicles are awesome. Other ideas: stretching very luxuriously so that your breasts press against your shirt, rubbing a glass of ice water against your neck as you stare at him, and simply just walking around and going about your business with a secretive smile all evening is sure to arrest his attention.
Use whatever words/actions work for you, but try to push your boundaries a little…even if you sense your partner’s a little weirded out. If you haven’t done anything like this before (or in a long time), he’ll probably be wondering where his woman went and who this new, mysterious and sensual creature is. Trust me, he may be confused, but he’ll be intrigued. And he’ll enjoy it.
Stay the course.
Kinky Game Plan 2: Open Panel Panties (AKA: crotchless)
If you don’t do anything else…you simply MUST have some of these!! They come in every size and style from thongs to boy shorts to moderate-coverage varieties. This YouTube video doesn’t show any of the moderate coverage varieties, hence the additional pictures below. There are websites galore you can order from – even Amazon has some really cute options.
(It’s not your speakers, this video doesn’t have sound.)
Don’t tell him you’ve bought them, but do let on that you have a surprise and can’t wait to share it with him. If you order these online, your motor will rev for days while you wait for them to arrive. Talk about foreplay…and your man hasn’t even touched you yet.
It had been a while since I’d deployed these little scraps of power, so I bought some new ones. Yowza. When he found out, his reaction was…
So, of course, I stacked the deck and told him that the next time he took me out I’d attach the garters that came with the panties and wear it under a skirt (Kinky GP 1 + 2). His response was…definitely not fit for public consumption (some things have to stay behind closed doors! LOL).
Aaanyway, try these for yourself and be prepared for sparks to fly!
Kinky Game Plan 3: Touch More of Him More Often
When was the last time you ran your hand up your man’s inner thigh toward his happy place? Do this in the car. A lot. He’ll begin reciprocating. Fun times, chickies! It’s even more exciting when you have to do it on the sly because the kids are in the car.
Ideas to Incorporate into Your Daily Life:
Come at your man from behind, wrap your arms around him and press your breasts into his back as you rub his chest. The next time you hug him, tunnel your fingers through his hair, feather your finger across his cheekbone or his lips. When he walks by to put his plate in the dishwasher, press your body to his while you reach for something on the counter. When he’s reading the paper or watching TV, rake your fingers across his chest or through his hair. Press a kiss to his back while he’s shaving shirtless after a shower. Smack or pinch him on the rear as you walk by.
You don’t need a reason to touch your man. He’s yours for the taking.
See? Easy, right?
None of these ideas are too kinky or earth shattering. You can totally do this. I’ll post a few more “realistic kink” ideas in a couple of weeks.
In the meantime, what do you think of these game plans? Are they something you already do or would be willing to try? Why or why not?