Realistic Kink for the Girl Next Door. The Sequel.

Hey chickies!

How did Part One go? Did you try any of the suggestions? I hope so. If not, it’s okay, it’s never too late to start embracing your sexy self.

Well then, it’s time to lay aside your need for order because this week we’re getting a little messy and a lot wet!

Are ya ready? Fire those engines!

KINKY GAME PLAN 4: WET, WHITE T-SHIRT.

I’ll admit, this one is harder to accomplish as your kids get older and their bedtimes aren’t much different than yours. But try to sneak it in, here’s how:

If you don’t already have one, go shopping for a basic white tee. No, scratch that. Even if you already have one, go get a new one. Buy this one with sex in mind (remember KGP1?). Keep it as simple and unadorned as possible. (Once you get wet, you’ll remember why.) Again, this is foreplay and your man hasn’t even laid a hand on you yet! 

Pick a night when you aren’t so terribly rushed and tell your man to go take a shower. That you have a little surprise for him. He’ll be thinking you’re going to “set a scene” in the bedroom, but actually…

:D

Tell him not to rush because you’ll make it extra special if he spends more time “cleaning up.” Yeah, you know the rest. His stunned grin when you join him in the steamy shower wearing nothing but the white t-shirt will be…

Just…wow.

And trust me, there is something goddess-inspiring about seeing your nipples veiled by a wet white t-shirt, ladies. Women’s bodies are HOT!

And here’s the thing, even if you don’t think you have the greatest girls in the world (you think they’re too small, too saggy, too whatever), the t-shirt somehow makes’em look sexier. Or maybe it’s not the t-shirt, maybe it’s just the brash, playful nature of the gesture that’s sexy. Whatever.

If you’re thinking negative thoughts about yourself, shut that shit off.

Again, kink for everyday girls like us works best when we have faith in ourselves and in our men.

A couple of notes on practicalities: If you have a glass-sided shower and he can see you coming a mile away, make your approach part of the experience.

Example: Bring a candle into the room, turn the lights off, and make a show of bending over the sink as you brush your teeth so he gets a little peek-a-boo. Then put a leg up on the counter (make sure he doesn’t see your whole front yard no matter how nicely you’re landscaped) and slowly lave lotion on your legs.

Who the hell cares that it’ll wash down the drain a minute later when you step into the shower to join a goofy-grinned but oh-so-happy man? Depending on your comfort level, while you’re giving a little pre-game show, you could also lightly run your hands…wherever they want to be.

Finally, once you’re in the shower…let the moment guide you. If you’re in there for the duration or only for heavy petting with the party spilling onto the bathroom floor or into your bedroom, it doesn’t matter. The experience is erotic either way.

Station Break!! Wet Man eye candy comin’ your way… Click for 34 wet hunks. Go on, check it out, I can’t re-post any here, but I’ll wait…

…(wondering if any of those guys are cold)…

…(chewing my nails)…

…(looking at all my split ends. WTF color is my real hair again?)…

…(wondering if if the guy in the pool is wearing Dockers or Levis)…

…(calculating how much longer until lunch)…

Oh, you’re back? Fucking finally! Better?

Alrighty then, on to…

KINKY GAME PLAN 5: BRING FOOD INTO THE BEDROOM

My picture should give you the general idea. No, I’m not saying spray the whipped cream on his business and top it with berries (though you certainly can if you want to. I won’t judge. Laughter is always good in bed. Except when it’s not.).

What I am saying is enjoy and experiment with food in the bedroom.

Slow. Down.

Really concentrate on making it a “sensual” experience. Take turns blind-folding each other and then…Smell. Touch. Taste. Listen.

Yum. YUM.

I don’t have to elaborate much here, right? I don’t want to insult the creative imaginations of chicks with swagger like y’all. If you’re freaking out about chocolate syrup on the sheets, though, buy dark sheets the next time dammit go ahead and layer a few towels. It’s really not a big deal.

Bon appétit! :D

What types of foods have you enjoyed in the bedroom? What about doin’ it wet? Any other slippery ideas you care to share? Do you want more realistic kink ideas? Let me know what you think!

Comments

  1. Hmmm wet T-shirts, whipped cream and blindfolds. Sounds like the right idea to keeping a relationship hot and happy.

  2. pssst…hey ladies… incorporate ice into oral sex! It’s Godly! (and apparently, blasphemous…)

  3. Josie Matthews says:

    Loved the Berry Hotties Mist! Have to say my favorites were the country boys…Yummy!!!
    For Our 21st anniversary on June 1st I bought Mr. M. a reference book…365 sexual positions.(Modern Kama-Sutra) He’s been texting me with page numbers while Im at work then I run home after work and check out which position we are going to try that night! It’s the funniest little game. Let me tell you…some of the positions deny gravity and I wouldnt even think of trying, but our game is definitely fun.
    I think writing love letters is sexy too. Some of us arent good with the face to face stuff so leaving a little love letter for your man and he for you is really bonding. My man wrote me one the other day when I was mad at him and it is the sexiest thing I’ve ever read. Sometimes its easier to write your feelings than speak them…..hmmmm….
    Love you!
    J

    • Josie, you two are a total inspiration! Has your marriage always been this way? If not, when & what precipitated the change, do you think?

      Love the writing love letters thing too! Yesterday my guy emailed me: “I love you, Miss December.” (swoon) :D

      • Josie Matthews says:

        God no!!! We havent always been like this…Not until the past 3 or 4 years I’d say weve been getting our sex ‘swagger’ back…Kids are older (16 and 19), mid life crisis…fear of using it or losing it….increased obsession with reading awesome ‘hot’ romance novels to inspire me. He’s always been very sexy and romantic. I’ve always been just….mom.

        Why Miss December???? Do tell!!

        • Ha! It’s nothing too original…it’s just my birthday month. :P

          That’s awesome that you and your man have gone to a new level in your marriage. :D

  4. Misty – I am soooo doing the shower thing. I love that. Your whole topic this week and the prior posting just rocks with attitude and fun. I’m telling ya. You both have a gift and you guys should start a column. Love the love letters too Josie. Great ideas. fun.fun.fun.

  5. Mary Roya says:

    I love it!

  6. Larissa Reinhart says:

    Misty, I so enjoy your blog. Just had to say it!

  7. Love it! Thanks for reminding us to play nice. ;)

  8. Misty,
    Thanks for bringing spice to our lives. I am betting your hubby is a very happy man.

  9. “If you’re thinking negative thoughts about yourself, shut that shit off.” I think this should be the Chick Swagger mantra. :)

    • LOL – you know, maybe we should! I’ll think about how we can incorporate that…because you’re right. I’m always thinking about how we can inspire women to be their best selves and stem the negative chatter that holds us back. Thanks for the idea! Love ya!

  10. Reblogged this on Avery Flynn and commented:
    “If you’re thinking negative thoughts about yourself, shut that shit off.” I love the ladies of Chick Swagger and had to share the second part of their kink for the regular girl series.

  11. Fantastic as usual ladies. Keep em coming.

  12. Those are all such fantastic points. If we feel sexy it will show and the kinkiness will flow..We need to feel powerful in our own body and what we feel.

  13. Love the white tt-shirt idea!! I’m adding that to my Valentine’s repertoire….taking a page from Fifty Shades and having a 4-some…Hubby, Me and Ben and Jerry. Arranged for kids to be gone several hours and now he tells me he is taking the day off too!! ::giggle::

    • “taking a page from Fifty Shades and having a 4-some…Hubby, Me and Ben and Jerry”
      ———LMFAO!!! Now there’s a kick ass idea, girl! BRRRRRRR OOOOOOO YES! :D

Trackbacks

  1. [...] If you haven’t read Part 1 or Part 2, that’s okay, it isn’t a requirement, but could be fun, and I’m continuing my Game Plan [...]

  2. […] If you haven’t read Part 1 or Part 2, that’s okay, it isn’t a requirement, but could be fun, and I’m continuing my Game Plan […]

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