Oh, how I’ve missed you all!! The end of the summer was a whirlwind for me and I’ve been so remiss on all my social media fun!
But, summer vacay is over…fall is in the air…I have to re-enter society…and I have to deal with MEAN GIRLS! WTF!!!
Hope I’m not repeating myself here, but it was a sucky day back to work and it’s only Day 1 ! So I need a little pick-me-up from our awesome readers.
Why do some women have to be so nasty? You know the ones I’m talkin’ ’bout. The mother who sits next to you at every soccer game and insists on bragging about how her kid is the only one who knows how to play. The co-worker who smiles as they say, ‘Is there a reason you did that that I should be aware of?‘. The skinny neighbor who says, ‘Honey, have you lost weight?…Your husband must be thrilled! ‘
Mom always told me, ‘Honey, once you reach your forties, you won’t care what other people think or say.‘ She was either really wrong or I’m really fu&%ed up! I’m almost fifty (6 month countdown) and there are still MEAN GIRLS in my life and they still make me feel crappy when I have to deal with them!
As little girls, the mean ones teased us about our hair or our clothes or our toys. They hid on us when we came over and laughed when we tripped on the sidewalk. As teens they stole our friends, stole our boyfriends, and spread rumors about us. As adults…well, the mean girls are much more cunning. They undermine our self-confidence with remarks made with sickening sweet smiles or drag us down with their judgemental attitudes. They hurt us by either directly attacking our sensibilities or pulling us into the muck with their negative attitudes. You know the ones I’m talking about…the ones that make you feel like you need to shower when they leave your presence cause you feel so dirty that you sat there and got dragged into their vile commentary.
What is it about mean girls that still…as adults…make us shake in our boots when they are around. Why don’t let us put them in their place? Why do we allow them to continue being nothing but sophisticated bullies?
I think we first have to diagnose and investigate what makes a mean girl tick…In a word…COMPETITION. Human beings are competitive by nature. Women are just as bad as men. As babies we competed for mom and dad’s love, as toddlers we competed for attention and supremacy (‘MINE!’). As kids we competed in sports, academics, and 4-H ribbons. When we hit the teen years…things got real serious…we competed for social status and peer justification…and it just kept going and going and going. Until, as adults, we compete for jobs, accolades, peer admiration (not just justification), and, something which most of us are hesitant to admit…acceptance! I think this is where my mom got it wrong. I still think, no matter what age, we all want to be accepted.
Now don’t get me wrong…competition can be a good thing. It makes us strive to be better. But when we compete for the wrong things, it can become toxic. Toxic competition (mean girl status) usually stems from some sort of major insecurity in the mean girl. If they feel threatened – by intelligence, work ethic, parenting skills, social skills…whatever – they usually revert to their toddler stage: Knock the competition down and steal their toy. They can be master manipulators, pulling you toward them one minute with their smiles and calm facade, then slapping your ass down when you least expect it just because a: they don’t need you for anything right now, b: you stole their limelight, c: it made them feel better about themselves. WTF? I thought I was done with all this when I left high school!!
I know, I know…just toughen up, right? I try! But I absolutely HATE conflict and these women are all about the conflict. I tend to internalize my ’mean girl stress’ then take it out on the candy shelf at the convenience store. Not good. A good Snickers will only go so far and usually about as far south as my fluffy butt.
Well, I don’t know about you guys…but I’m and soooo tired of dealing with the mean girls in my life. There aren’t many…just a few that I take great pains to avoid at all costs…but they are there, in all our lives. We need to find a way to let their venom to float right on by. Much harder said then done.
Love yourself, have confidence in yourself and set your limits. Try not to let the venom spread by partaking in gossip or allowing the mean ones to tear others down in your presence. Be the road block to the poison and then LET IT GO.
I’m working hard on this. Trying to stop letting myself get emotionally beat up by certain people. If I’m truly at fault? I’m all over that. But many times it’s just the other person’s stuff. You gotta keep their stuff in their court. Don’t let it mess with your ZEN! Surround yourself with people who spread good things into the universe. The ones who make you feel good when they are around.
Do you have mean girls in your life? What makes them tick? How do you handle them?