A yearly event for only the most cunning and physically fit is about to commence. Do you have what it takes?
I’ve decided since we are only days away from Thanksgiving, I’d write about one of the scariest events of the year, at least for me. I suggest only the fittest, the most aggressive, and battle-hardened attempt the foray known as Black Friday – or more specifically those early bird specials that many retailers promote.
I have to be honest, I haven’t ventured into a store on Black Friday in eons, perhaps not eons, but not since my son wrote letters to Santa asking for the season’s hottest toy. The last time I went, I stood in a long line before daybreak, which wove around the front of the store. Since I live in the Northeast, the early morning temperatures were bitter. Most of the other
fools customers were bundled up, sipping super-sized cups of coffee to ward off the cold and stay awake.
Once the store managers opened the doors, it was as if I’d stepped into the streets of Pamplona, and I was a participant in the Running of the Bulls. Then it hit me! These people where souped-up on caffeine from the gallons of coffee they’d consumed. Suddenly, the camaraderie we had forged in line was forgotten, and it was clearly every person for themselves.
I can remember running down the aisle toward my intended target, a coveted Game Boy system, accompanied by a mob of wild-eyed customers who looked not only like they’d taken their caffeine intravenously, but had also gone through combat training. They were practically clawing at each other. Once we hit the toy department customers scattered to the left and right, but the majority of us appeared to be after the same prized hand held gaming system.
My toes were trampled, my body shoved, and somehow I ended up at the back of the crowd. I watched as each person in front of me grabbed a Game Boy. With slumped shoulders, I stared at the empty slot. But it seemed, at least for a moment, that God had smiled down at me for suddenly I noticed one last Game Boy in the wrong place. I stealthily moved toward it, and just as I outstretched my hand a woman plucked the item off the shelf. She turned to me with a smug smile. It was like adding insult to injury.
In all honesty, there had been a crazed moment when I’d contemplated grabbing it from her and running, but instead I just stared like a beached fish, my mouth soundlessly moving. I was clearly out of my league. I didn’t have the balls for this, figuratively speaking that is.
So, how many of you will take the plunge this Black Friday? Any stories you care to share?
I know I won’t be joining the throngs this year. I’ll be shopping on Cyber Monday, where my pride and my toes will stay intact.