Sex with Food, Seriously? – Dishin’ With a Chick Crasher

What’s up gang?! Hope this summer is treating you well. It’s been hot as hell all over the US, and maybe you’ve already thought about using those ice cubes for more than your iced tea. They are SEXY in the bedroom. (If you’re staring at the screen with a big goofy grin right now, go on and grab your partner! We’ll wait right here. We’re awesome like that… :)

Better? (If you didn’t go anywhere, tuck that idea away for a more convenient time. For real. Because it’s just too fun not to.)

ANYWAY, we are freakin’ thrilled to have Chick Crasher LIZ EVERLY – sexy culinary romance author – with us today talking about two of our favorite things: FOOD and bow chicka wow wow. I’ve had the pleasure of following Liz’s group blog, Lady Smut, for a while now, and it’s not only hot, but intelligent and witty. Two thumbs up!

Take it away, Liz!!

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LizBoth food and sex are appetites that go beyond simple needs—both delving down into primitive longings for comfort and as a steamy culinary romance author, I like to think this is what I tap into when I write. But when I Googled “food with sex” the first item to come up in a long list of questionable blog posts suggested placing a doughnut around your man’s penis and eating it off.

Hmmm. If that idea turns you on, I say go for it—but as for me, if my husband approached me with a doughnut on him, I might fall over laughing. (Of course, humor does have a place in the bedroom. But maybe not it this case?)

I might rather enjoy the doughnut in between zesty lovemaking sessions or the next morning for breakfast. But that’s just me. I think some of us watched 9 1/2 Weeks way too much. You know the scene I’m talking about, with the food and the refrigerator and OH MY.  I mean, yeah, it’s sexy to watch. But who would want to clean up after it? And am I the only one thinking that’s sort of an infection waiting to happen?

All that said, I believe in the power of good food to set the mood for a romantic evening. Taking care of your body remains one of the sexiest things you can do for yourself and your lover. Feeding your body good food counts toward that goal. Also, feeding one another can be a lusty experience—one that can be as intimate as intercourse.

Of course taking someone to the hospital with a vegetable or fruit lodged inside of them can also be an intimate—albeit embarrassing—experience.  So if you have a certain lust for fruits and vegetables to be used like this, you should definitely consider the size of them—so as not to lose them and create a painful situation. Also, make sure they are clean, since much of our fruits and vegetables come with chemicals and other things on their skins.

Some of my food scenes do involve licking of food from one another. So far, my characters have been doused in chocolate, honey, and butter. But my characters don’t drop it onto or lick it off sensitive areas—because well, that can be bad news. And that bad news can lead to decidedly unsexy states—like infections or hospital visits.

Common sense rules apply to good sex-food play. For example, stay away from oily and sugary products below the waist. If you insist on using them, please keep them on the outside of the body. Both oil and sugar encourages growth of yeast and bacteria. Nobody wants that. Pretty un-sexy, wouldn’t you say?

Of course you will want to clean after your mess. But leave the body to it’s own natural lubrication devices. Also, don’t use douches or enemas after sex play with food because it might push food residue into the body. (Yep. I went there.) This increases risks of bacterial growth or infection. Once again, nobody wants that.

Also, never use food with spices, especially cinnamon, menthol, cloves, or mint. Because, well, OUCH. Unless, of course, ouch is what you want.

As in all sex-play, it’s just a delicate matter of common sense, fun, and what works for you. So go forth, my friends, and play!

———–

Misty wants to know…What food-sex play have you indulged in? Any tips or ideas you can share? 

———–

Excerpt from Saffron NightsSaffronNights

Could she work with a man who was in love with her? Was Jackson in love with her?  Sometimes when he looked at her, she wondered. How could she maintain the distance she needed to work, to write, to breathe? What would happen to their partnership if it went bad?  She could feel his eyes on her. His camera on her. And there was a change in his sarcastic, cocky behavior. Maybe it was the head injuries. Maybe she was just imagining his interest in her.

In any case, they had work to do. She focused on the truffles. Working and relationships didn’t mix.  One failed “working” relationship after the other in college taught her that lesson.

Ah, youth.

Now, here I am in Italy, safe and sound for the time being, living the dream of every food writer.

“Hard to imagine these ugly little truffles are so delicious,” she said to Jackson, as they walked toward the villa.

“Better than the jellyfish?”

“Ah, no, I don’t think so. I was surprised I like them,” she said. Mr. Mei Lei had carefully prepared jellyfish for her dinner on her last evening in Hong Kong. They weren’t fishy at all and she loved the golden-ink color of the gel and the way it felt, so smooth, on her tongue, all the way down into her throat.

“I’m surprised you remember how much I liked the jellyfish,” she said.

“Why?” he said, tilting his head just so and she imagined tilting her head the other way, just so.  Lips on lips.  Tongues twirling. The memories of their kiss tugged at her.

“I just didn’t think you were paying attention,” she said.

“You’d be surprised what I see when it looks like I’m not paying attention,” he said, moving closer to her. She could see, now, the faint pink tint around his nose and lips from the cold. He grinned. Don’t do that, don’t look at me like that while I’m trying to work. Don’t look at me as if you know exactly what I’m thinking, as if you know exactly what to do with all these body parts standing at attention, tingling.

She looked away at the resting dogs.

”Time to call it a day,” someone said.

Maeve wandered away from Jackson, leaving him alone with his camera, but her thoughts lingered.

About Liz Everly

Liz Everly is the author of the Saffron Nights series, published by e-Kensington. The first book, SAFFRON NIGHTS was published in January 2013; the second book in the series, CRAVINGS, will be published in November. Liz writes, plays, and cooks in a tiny house with a big garden. She writes under a pen name to escape expectations and to embrace all possibilities. Website: http://www.lizeverly.wordpress.com. She also blogs at http://www.ladysmut.com. She is also on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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Don’t forget to let us know what food-sex play you’ve indulged in! Any tips or ideas you can share? 

 

Comments

  1. Misty,
    Like Liz discussed above, too many food items can become embedded, chafe, irritate, burn, scald, cause allergies or lead to infection. Safety first, people. If it needs a possible warning label, it may not be something you want around your lady garden of pleasure or her loyal purple-headed warrior.

    My favorite food indulgence has to be feeding each other. The texture of the food is a huge part of this, as is the eye contact between partners. It’s foreplay with food. And, I am a fan of the ‘ol foreplay, because it’s great by itself as the main course, or as the appetizer that leads to a great entree event. The upside of feeding each other, is a) food gets into the mouth, b) there is less cleanup involved and c) you can always go further with it – a little dribble here or a dollop there to intensify the heat. (I define “heat” here as passion, not “oh shit! Hubby just sat on the George Foreman, so we’re off to the hospital to explain the grill marks on his jewels. Ouchie.”)

    Just be sure to be on the same page. I could eat Nutella* out of my own sneakers after teaching a Zumba class, but some people (Hubby) might not like that. Be sure to talk about allergies and food preferences. You may like a juicy hamburger, but if your partner is a vegan, hauling out lusciously, charred mammal flesh on a Kaiser roll may not be “sexy.” It’s all about having fun!

    *Don’t judge. Nutella is my drug of choice. And, NO, I don’t need to “talk to someone” about it. I am fully committed to my addiction and give it 100% effort. Get your own damn jar and spoon, lest you pull back a stump, Lefty.

    Love, peace, soul grease,
    Michelle

  2. Thanks so much for crashing, Liz! What a great, informative post. Especially the no sugar/oils in the nether regions. Definitely need-to-know stuff!

    My hubby and I are big foodies, but that usually involves a nice meal before and a dessert buffet after. *mouthes at self “neat freak!!!”* Okay, okay, so I’m not that into cleaning up the sheets…. But it’s worth a try (at a hotel!) :)

    Oh, and I just have to ask…. since on Vonnie’s eye-patch post Michelle pointed out the hospital would call the Solvent Guy from Home Depot to the rescue… who rescues lost fruit and vegetables from down below? The Produce Guy from your local market? ;)

  3. Hi Liz, Thanks for crashing! Love the food advice. I agree that it can get a bit messy. Tubs a good place to incorporate food into foreplay. Easy clean up. Just turn the shower on after you’ve turned each other on. Really, who wants to wash sheets or sleep in them after experimenting. Great excerpt. Sounds like a fun read.

  4. Thanks so much for having me here today. What a great blog and a fun bunch of people!

  5. Something about that cover — with the dripping chocolate — is just sooooo sexy…

  6. Misty–you’re such an awesome blogger!
    Meanwhile, I can’t believe all of you are discussing Nutella but no one is mentioning whipped cream? Is whip cream totally out these days? Is it too retro?

    Meanwhile, I only remember the dirty dishes n sex in Fatal Attraction. I don’t remember the fridge particularly. I DO remember the fridge scene from 9 1/2 Weeks however. Blindfolded and being fed food….does it get any sexier than that? I don’t think so.

    So nothing with chunky texture is what I’m hearing. Okay, lesson learned! ;>

    • Oiy!! Madeline, yes, Liz and I talked about that…it *was* 9 1/2 Weeks, and I forgot to change it before the post went out. Totally my bad!

      And no, whip cream is definitely NOT out. Or, if it is. I don’t care if I’m not trendy because it’s effin’ awesome. *slurp*

      The love is completely mutual, woman! xoxo :)

  7. LOl, great post as always from Liz. And me too on the Nutella, in fact I wrote a sexy story about it (due for a reprint) called “Love on a Spoon” :-) I’d agree with Michelle: feeding each other is so wonderful! Like that great scene in Tom Jones food can be an orgy of delights.

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  2. […] honored by being asked to guest post on Chick Swagger. Check out my post on sex and […]

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