In case you didn’t read through the comments on Renee’s post (here), I learned a new weakness of Misty’s. Apparently, she can’t even buy a certain fruit at the grocery store without snickering. So, just to make Misty giggle throughout this post, we’re going to use banana as our code word. For what? Well, if you can’t guess, I’m not telling
It’s a question that plagues our modern society, as well as our email inboxes. Right, Renee? (BTW have you coaxed Mr. M to try any of those enlargement pills yet? Lol.)
And of course by size, I mean, the size of your banana. Cue Misty laughing her *ss off…
Hands up to anyone who’s ever ventured into a museum. Ever taken a gander at Michelangelo’s David? (C’mon, we’re not all staring at his hands, folks). Yup, the ancient Greeks, and the Renaissance artists who copied them, believed large bananas were grotesque and bestial.
Whoa, right? BIG change in our thinking. Ever wonder why that happened? *points finger at fellow romance writers*
Okay, okay. It’s not entirely out fault, but yeah, I think we played a teeny tiny role. I mean, when was the last time you read a romance novel and the hero was, shall we say, “on the smaller side”? Romance novels hike up the male build big time. But the truth is, while we might enjoy reading about such men, I think when presented with the reality (Cause, yeah, J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood comes to mind…), most of us would run screaming in the opposite direction.
As I was doing some *ahem* “research” for a story of mine, I um, “studied” why Greek wrestlers used to compete in the nude. All I can say is, man, if you had to fight someone naked, you’d probably want the smallest package around, right? The jury’s still out on the exact length of flaccid and erect bananas (different studies have different results… Damn you, Google!) So maybe there was something to this artwork, or maybe David here was a Grower, not a Shower
So guys, if you’re feeling the small banana blues, just remember George and thank your lucky stars that human males come in a package all their own
Deep breath. Here we go. Does size matter?
Part 1: No. It’s how you use it.
This should be a no-brainer. It doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s the technique that counts.
In case you’ve never glimpsed a female, one of our two (and arguably the easiest to stimulate) sexual hotspots is on the OUTSIDE of our bodies. (The other being the G-spot, on the inside of the vagina). Not to mention, our greatest sexual organ is *cue drumroll* the MIND. Yep, get inside that baby and you’ll rock our worlds
That being said, how long do you think the average sexual encounter lasts? Once again, our romance novels have blow-fished the truth. Doing my “Google” research, I’ve seen anywhere from 4 to 12 minutes. Say Whhaaat? Yikes. Considering it takes a woman a good 10-20 minutes to orgasm… YEAH. Way too short, guys. Work on technique, and ENDURANCE. Don’t forget foreplay! Oh, and are women capable of orgasming from thrusting alone? Absolutely, but we need you to last longer for that to happen. Or, get flexible, use those talented hands, or a toy, and give her clitoris some attention while thrusting, and there you go. Boom.
While researching, I came across this handy dandy calculator. Check it out:
Part 2: No. It’s about the fit.
This is what bothers me. Men discuss all the time their banana size, and yet women are considered a one-size-fits-all. Yeah right.
While we might all be capable of birthing babies the size of small watermelons, any woman who’s actually done so will certainly not have fond memories of it. More like, screaming in agony, swearing, threatening to castrate your husband (who is watching the hockey game—true story!)… Oh wait, was that just me?
There is a point, gentlemen, at which size becomes uncomfortable for us. Just like you, we are not all built the same. Roughly, our average vaginal length (6 inches, give or take) matches your average banana length. Sure, we stretch a bit during sex, but too much and we’re reminded of that bastard who got us knocked up and the doc who made us push a gigantic… Okay, again maybe that’s just me. Lol. (Sorry, Mr. S. I really do love you!)
The point is, it’s the lower third of the vagina that has the most sensitivity. So really, it’s more about the girth of your banana than the length. And the upper part? Yeah, that’s the cervix. You knock the head of your banana against that too many times and you’re likely to get kicked out. I mean, I think it’s pretty much the equivalent for us females as having someone smack you guys in the coconuts. If ya know what I mean. Not fun, and certainly not a turn on.
Whew, all this talk of fruit and I think I’ll go make myself a fruit salad!
So, I’ll pose the questions to you: What’s your take on size? Why is our current society so obsessed? Are you? And hey, WHOSE fault is it anyway?