Love and the Hopeless Romantic

On the heels of Valentine’s Day, I find it apropos to ponder thoughts of Love, Romance AND LUST!

My first love, at the tender age of 11, was Charleton Heston in The Planet Of The Apes.  Go figure.  Must of been pre-teen interest in a man running around with nothing but a loin cloth.

Since then, let’s hope my tastes have improved.  I’m a total romance junkie.  I love a handsome  man with a chiseled jaw, athletic body and sensual eyes.   Now don’t get me wrong, physical attraction is must, but humor and intellegence are mutually important, are they not?

My hubby is all these things! But that’s not to say my eyes don’t wander.  Mostly over the pages of great romance novels and heart grabbing romantic movies and shows.

Put me in a room with Jonathan Ryhs Meyers from the Tudors and I could do some major damage.  For my birthday next month, you could throw in Tom Hardy and Gerard Butler for good measure, if you feel so inclined. 

Okay…so I’m day dreaming, what girl doesn’t?    It’s these movies and romance novels that ignite my imagination!  Who doesn’t want to be ravished by some handsome, rakehell duke?  Or be kissed and made love to for hours by James Bond?

Think of the influence these romance sources have over our lives!  We can learn a lot from them.  Even though my imagination wanders, my hubby definitely benefits!  I know he is ‘in the mood’ when he comes home from work with a Barnes and Noble bag filled with goodies from my favorite romance writers!  He keeps telling me all the stuff I read is not real life, but he certainly doesn’t complain when I read just before bed!

So, if all this romance we read in books and see in movies is not real life, how can we make it so?  How can we bring that romance into our own lives?  How can we stretch ourselves to be that hero or heroine we most admire and make the most of our relationships?

My hubby and I work hard at our marriage, but we didn’t always.  After 21 years we are getting to know each other again.  Putting that extra effort into attracting each other.  We have agreed not to sit idly by and settle for the status-quo.  For example: he knows I love a nice arm band tattoo on a guy. He surprised me last summer when I returned from the Orlando RWA conference with the sexiest tattoo with my initial in it!!!  Hot, Hot, Hot!  Of course I reciprocated a year later with a cute little tramp stamp for his eyes only with his nickname entwined through it.  ACKKK!!  Now, hopefully I’ll keep my weight down so the damn thing doesn’t start looking like some ill-fated turnip.

I have to say, I didn’t decide to put all this effort into my marriage until I became interested in reading romance over the last few years.  Say what you will, real or not, there is something to be learned from these talented writers that can be applied to real life to spice things up.  I may not be able to be ravished in a carriage by the 7th Earl of Westwood (told you I love him, Renee!) but my hubby would look great in a pair of tight breeches and some shiny hessions.  His ass is fine!  Even at 47!!!   Now, if only I could find a nice costume store….

What I have learned from romance novels and books:

1.  It’s okay (sexy actually) for women to ‘let go’ and ‘enjoy the ride’!

2. An alpha male is great, as long as he has some vulnerability I can fall in love with.

3.  A powerful personality can make any man unbearably attractive.

4. Clothes DO make the man (or woman).  My man is much more likely to ‘get a little’ when he wears a nice fittin’ pair of jeans and a great T that shows off his tatt, than if he sports ill-fitting sweats and a sleveless flannel shirt and mudders…

5.  A little jealousy goes a long way!  I trust my man implicitly.  So when a woman tells me, ‘If I could have an affair with any man in this town I’d pick your husband!’ I find it renews my interest in keeping him happy.  He becomes EXTREMELY attractive to me.   (This actually happened to me, believe it or not…I think she was drunk…)

6. Complancency is the enemy.  When my husband engages in something I’ve never know him to do or be interested in, it’s like I’m meeting a whole new person!  Stretch your boundaries and let your sig-other see a different you, a new you.  We are forever changing, and that’s a good thing.  Recapture the newness.

What things work for you in capturing the attention of  your love interest? (whispered words of encouragement? a special date? a specific scent?)

What turns you on? (thoroughbred athleticism? brainy businessman? shy nerd? young or old? a great movie with a hot love scene?)

Keep the romance alive, because life is too short not to indulge! Buy a racey romance novel to shake those feelings loose and LET GO!

Love, Josie

A little David Beckham anyone?

PS. Hubby did buy me my first ‘thong’ a few months ago.  It still has the tags on it.  He actually had the audacity to hang the silly piece of string from the bedpost the other night as a reminder.  I’m doomed to a wedgie, I’m afraid.



  1. This was AWESOME! Have a total girl crush on you now. I love how you and hubby are working to keep the romance going. The handsome Mr. Flynn rolls his eyes at my book purchases, but he knows they put me in the best mood ever.
    Go ahead and wear that thong – they’re the best.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Right back atya’ sista’. I crush on alot of girls…part of the fun of being a woman I think!
      Tell Mr. Flynn to get you a ‘toy box’ for your anniversary and fill it. Very eye opening to see what is lurking in your man’s imagination when you give him the green light. I saw a whole new Mr. ‘J’ and he was very, very…debauched!
      I may be on the cusp of hittin’ 50, but my mind and my body still tell me I’m only 26. That’s the truth and I’m stickin’ to it!!!
      Love ya! J

  2. WHOOP, WHOOP! Love it! God, how sweet was that that your man got the arm tatt with your initials? Seriously, if my man did that…ahhhhhhh. 🙂

    Great, great post. Yay, romance!! There is all kinds of evidence out there that romance novels are *good* for women. Two stats I found on

    “Older readers reported having sexual intercourse twice as much as did nonreaders and, indeed, more frequently than the national average for all women […]. In addition, housewife readers reported being more satisfied with sex than nonreaders.”


    “Most of the study participants (75.5%) reported that reading romance novels has had an impact on their sex lives. This occurred in several ways, including making participants more likely to engage in sexual activity and by making them more likely to try new sexual activities.”

    [Here’s where you can read more:

    And not only are they good for a girl’s sex life, they’re healthy for our esteem because they show us that we can and *should* expect to be treated with respect and we’re worthy of a great love. What’s NOT to love??

    Finally, Jos, work that thong, girl! 🙂

  3. You didn’t specify which James Bond. Should I take that to mean any of them or all of them? Separately of course. Love your comment about the hubby stopping off at Barnes and Nobles. HA! And thanks for the plug for my man Westfield! Maybe if I ever get him published, you’ll read his story right before you go to bed. Wink. Love your post!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Renee! Personally I’m diggin’ Daniel Craig. I love the fact that an older hero can be so sexy!!! He lives somewhere around here in upstate NY. My son actually saw him at the homestore he works in. I told him to slip him my number next time he stops in!!!
      Westfeild is definitely scheduled for a bedtime story WHEN you get published!!!
      I love your work!
      Love, Josie

  4. I can testify that Josie’s hubby is F.I.N.E. and that he adores her. It is so nice to see a married couple who really are still into each other.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Thanks Jen! I’ll be sure to tell Mr. J. you said so. He always enjoys a little pick-me-up! Do you want to borrow my thong for you trip to the sunny shores of Florida tomorrow? Wish I could go. Don’t forget to bring your awesome Chickswagger and have the time of your life! You are the best!

  5. Love, love, love what you said! If everyone just tried to apply a little of this to their everyday life they would be much happier and maybe a little more satisfied!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      You are so right, Kirsten, Im sad that I spent so many years not thinking about Love and Romance they way I do now. What a waste of some good years, but raising kids tends to take precedence with alot of us. But Im getting those years now, better late than never, right? Too bad I dont have the body I had in my thirties…
      Have a great Day! Josie

  6. Hi Josie,
    Great column. As for romantic guy in the movies, I’d pick John Cussack. Yep, John because of his performance in Say Anything.

    In real life, I’ll stick with my guy because he’s ROMANTIC in all caps. When we had been dating about six months he gave gave me a keyring that had a heart with arrow through it and the key to his house. He proposed on bended knee followed by a carriage ride through the city. The very best way he shows his love is he lets me reads my scenes to him, and he serves as the grammar police. The literary gods have smiled on me and sent me someone who has better grammar than myself. He spices up the sex scenes by making my guys even more alpha. LOL

    Your husband is an amazing guy to get a tatt for you. You’re pretty amazing too. I’ve learned a lot from romance novels and romance writers.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Hey Morgan!
      Dont you just love an intellegent guy? One who can read through your scenes and help!
      And dont you love seeing what input your man has for your scenes? Do you see a side of him that you may not have noticed before? I bet you do!

      Say Anything is one of my favorite movies as well…Lloyd Dobbler had such a quiet confidence to go after the girl he wanted. He wasn’t afraid to show her how he felt! Sounds like your man is the same type of guy! You’re future looks swoon-worthy!!!!

      Love, Josie…

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