The Power of the SHE…

 

GIRLFRIENDS…

You know who they are….

I’m not talkin’ ’bout the everyday gals who are in and out of our life related to our jobs, our kids, our husbands…the ones you go to lunch with or Tupperwear parties with.

I’m talking about those gals that are in your life because of YOU!   The ones you would trust reading your mind… 

I have been truly blessed to have TWO…count them…TWO life-long, best friends. That is A LOT. Believe me. To be unconditionally loved and accepted and nurtured by these two amazing women sometimes brings me to tears.  My friends, Carrie and Charlene, have stood by me through thick and thin (and I wish I had done a better job of the same with them) for the last 26 years.

Now, it’s no shocking news that I live with Bipolar Disorder…have for most of my life.  I think it makes me kind-of interesting, to say the least.  I can go from ruling the world one week, to hibernating under the covers (safe place) being completely cut off from the world the next.  Sometimes this mood can last for months, not to mention all the moods in between the polar ends which have landed me in plenty of trouble over the years!  Being my friend is no small task.

When I need to talk, my girlfriends listen. When I dissapear from their lives because of my shit…they get it and accept me back with open arms months later. They are two of the most caring, patient, brilliant women I know.  They know absolutely EVERYTHING about me…every dark secret, every dark thought, every aspiration, every fear.  They support me in everything I do, even if it means having to tell me to cut the shit, setting me straight, then pushing me on my way to success.    

Carrie is my ‘wild child.’ Her young life had been devastatingly tumultuous. The confidence this women exudes, regardless (or should I say as a result of?) her childhood adversities, propelled her to finish school without any parental supervision, succeed in the business world, start two successful businesses of her own, raise a beautiful family and love her friends with the fiercest devotion I’ve ever encountered. The girl can build a car from scratch, make beautiful stained glass, be the highlight of any social situation, and turn the head of any man from the age of 21 to 81!!!  She is my courage.

Char is my ‘quiet rebel.’ Char has never been afraid to test the norm. She is brilliant, politically aware, environmentally and community oriented, and has worn the pants in her 25 or so year career where she tangled with some of the most politically hardened males of our county. She is a petite, red-headed fashion-statement who can pack a huge punch when she stands up for what she believes in. She is artistic and creative and the heart of her wonderful family. She is my conscience. 

I idolize these women.  Not so much because of their accomplishments and the amazing women they are, but for the way they love me.  I’m a better person for having them in my life. I learn from them, I am supported by them, and I am protected by them.  Without them, I wouldn’t be complete…Without them I’d have no one with whom I could always speak my mind. It’s a tough job to be my friend…and these girls are in it for life. Thank the dear Lord!      

These women make me want to be better.  A better person, a better wife, a better mother…a better friend.

I’m afraid there are many women out there who don’t have anyone to call a TRUE friend.  Someone whom they feel safe being their true selves. My heart saddens at this, because life is damn hard sometimes…and a woman can feel alone regardless of husbands and children and families.  I never do.

Women in the 21st century are daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, employees, caretakers, housekeepers, cooks, shoppers, gardeners, taxi drivers, community members. Women’s lib did us no favor…we now have MANY full-time jobs.

Not to be sexist…but I don’t feel the job list for men is quite as long. Not their fault, of course…mostly the fault of genetics (that nurturing/emotional/communicator gene that most men are missing) and a centuries’ old society which has designated basically just two roles to men, husband and provider. Now this isn’t to say all men…but many still have a tendency to pull out their caveman persona and retreat when the chips are down. As strong women, we are helping them to increase their roles, but still…women are AWFUL FUCKING STRONG if you ask me.  We never retreat.

I don’t even think my husband knows me as well as my two best friends. So what does that say about women? Is this a Venus vs. Mars thing?  I’m thinking so…

Who are your BFF’s?  What makes them special and how do they make you a better person?

 How can we tie that female bond across the miles tighter so no one feels alone?  A weekly dose of Chick Swagger?

 Here’s your chance girls…send a holler out to your BFF!

Send your love and support to all those reading and listening and we will continue to do the same… 

You Go Girls!

Love, Josie

 

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Comments

  1. What I love about this post is that you bring up how these friends of yours meet different needs. No one person can be everything to anyone. I have lots of really wonderful friends who are all fabulous, unique women. But besides my man, there’s really only one person whom I can share *everything* with. She moved even further away over a year ago because of her husband’s job, and I miss her so bad. She’s scary smart, funny, strong, professional, loyal, encouraging, humble, and caring. Love you, Amy!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Yay! Misty! Im so glad you have someone…Isnt it weird to think that aside from maybe one or two people…nobody knows everything about you? That really…we are an island unto ourselves? Thats why the world is such an interesting place I think. So many little islands supporting the differences in each other to create a wonderful world!
      I would think that my mom and my hubby would come in a close second for who knows me best but I do my damndest to protect them from the craziness that IS me!!! Thank God for those good friends of mine who have a GREAT sense of humor!!!!

      Tell Amy I said thanks for taking such good care of my partner and for being such an amazing woman!!!
      Love Ya!
      D

  2. I too am lucky to have TWO best friends. Nancy & I met 22 years ago. Kelli and I met 16 years ago. They each live on opposite ends of the country and I’m in the middle, yet we manage to stay as close as if we lived next door to each other. I can’t imagine my life without them and their support (and the sometimes necessary kick in the arse)!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Alexa, distance makes no difference. Im sure it would be great to be with them in person, but spirit always rings true. Just knowing there are two amazing women out there who love you and know you to the core makes the world a better place! A kick in the arse is sometimes the BEST thing our BFF’s can do for us!
      Here for you always!!!!!!
      J

  3. I have three BFF’s. One is my sister, Cindy. She always has my back. The next is Jen, who I call my sister, who would take time out of studying for an important exam to help me re-do my website. I seriously love her. The third, I haven’t known long, but Sarah has done so much for me the past year. I’ll never be able to repay her. She is the kindest person I know.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Jerri, Its so interesting that you mention your sister. I have a wonderful sister. She is kind and sweet and accepting of all my faults, the reason I didnt list her is because she is too sweet to be burdened with my craziness! I love her so much I find I protect her. But she is one amazing woman who raised two children (one severly autistic) on her own for over ten years before she rekindled with her highschool sweetheart. A romance story for sure….
      My love and support go out to you , Cindy, Jen and Sarah. What a great team you make!
      Stay strong!
      Love J

  4. Jo-Ann Carson says:

    Josie
    I’d bet they’re such great friends, because you are an awesome friend.
    Love the pics.
    Jo-Ann

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Jo-Ann, you are so sweet! I hope Im an awesome friend. I may not do the day to day phone calls, cards, yadda yadda. But I’d walk over coals for the people I love when the chips are down. I’d love for you all to meet my friends…We’d have such a GREAT time and they’d love you just as much as they love me cause thats just the type of girls they are. Giving, giving, giving.
      Stay in touch and I hope Misty and I can always be there for you all. Chickswagger comes from our hearts straight to you!
      Love Josie…

  5. This was beautiful and very touching. The only one I can say who holds the title of BFF is my sister. She knows where the bodies are buried. I’ve had lots of friends, but none like my sis.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Lynn, I love that. Sisters are soooo special. Mine certainly is but as Ive said before…I try to protect her and only spread sunshine on her life… My sister Karin and I are polar (tee hee) opposites. She is sweet and shy and demure. I’m crazy and impulsive and totally ‘out there’, in a good kind of way of course (I hope…). Im a nurse at an elementary school for Goodnes sakes! They wouldnt let me near small children I I wasnt!
      Isn’t it awesome when you have someone who loves you, even when they know your Freddy Krueger side!!!!! Plant Rye…It dillutes the body fermentation!
      You’re the best! Let’s stick togethera and keep spreading the swagger!
      Love J

      PS… Misty? Would you still love me if I had bones in my backyard? Do I feel a Mob-related book on the horizon?

  6. Josie,
    Jo-Ann above was right. You ARE an awesome friend, and you tell only half the story. Your approach to life amazes all who know you. Not only are you extraordinarily creative and curious about everything in the human experience, but you are absolutely fearless in exploring love, work, play, and your own interior landscape. You are truly unique and inspiring to us. As more and more readers hear your clear and singular voice, you will learn how powerful and admired you actually are.
    Just so you know…..

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Awww…C!!! Now you went and made me cry…I just love you… Interior landscape…what a beautiful term. I can’t thank you enough for your kind words…Im speechless…go figure.
      Love U…J

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