We’re modern women right? We are great wives/girlfriends, we raise great kids, we’re proficient at our careers and cooking and decorating and fundraising. We’re awesome in bed….SCREEECH…(sound of needle scratching across your favorite vinyl record…)
I have to admit…I’m pretty awesome in bed…I can handle a mean remote, read thousands of pages a night AND sleep like a baby! I have even managed to plot out a few good scenes for a book when I’m on that brink of just falling asleep when my imagination loves to run away with me! (Just like Vonnie!)
But that’s not what I’m talking about…
She bucked against him, driving him deeper, whimpering as she felt a crescendo of pleasure unlike anything she had known before. She was drowning in it, burning alive, her vision began to blur. She felt the explosion build, felt it swell through her, ripple over her. It tore through her body, heaving it, sending her scream echoing through the room as it tore through her, destroyed her. (compliments of one of my fav authors Lora Leigh!)
Now, I’m a total romance junkie, love the erotica genre for they way it stretches my imagination, but I’m totally fucking jealous of these heroines!!!
Come to find out…so are 80% of the women out there in the world!
(In my opinion? The Big Guy got it wrong….the penis should have been on the man’s chin!!! Wonder why they called this guy DudleyDoRight?)
This is so sad. Why is it that men seem to have no problem at all?
Possibly because of biology…a little ‘survival of the species’ crap going on here. Think of the woman’s orgasm like a nipple on a guy. There really is no purpose for it when it’s on the opposite sex! Women need nipples (not orgasms) to feed their young and propagate the species…Men need orgasms (not nipples) to propagate the species.
So what’s a girl to do? (Yeah…I wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to do with his ‘unnecessary’….parts. (spelling Misty? two c’s…two s’s?? Grammar whore, here…gotcha covered, girlfriend.)
Get creative and…Practice, Practice, Practice!
I’m a bit jealous of my lesbian friends out there. Because of anatomy (lack of the penis), they actually have a much more creative sex life that suits a woman’s need to have clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.
- The nerve endings in the clitoris extend WAY far into the mons pubis (where your pubic hair grows). Lots of surface area there, girls…Get using it! Know your parts and what they like!
- Those pelvic floor muscles message inner nerve endings when you contract them, causing your own stimulation. So don’t just lay there waiting for it to happen…you need to work it! Contract that pelvis and join your partner in the movement. This is why some women have been reported to have orgasms on the ab machine at the gym!
- The typical female orgasm lasts 25 seconds. So don’t be unrealistic in your expectations.
- Practice makes perfect. Go it alone girls. Find out what feels good, and then give him/her a lesson! Learn your sensitive spots, how you like to be touched (hard? soft? slow? fast?). Use those ab muscles. Don’t forget your toys! It’s a fact that fast vibration makes a clitoris extremely happy. They make small “bullet” ones that you can use on yourself during intercourse. Your man will love the sensation too!
- Ramp up the foreplay! He’s not into it? Doesn’t have time? Do it yourself! Read a hot book, start without him…then when you’re all hot and bothered…show him what you want!
- The more masculine a man looks, the more likely you’ll be able to orgasm (supposedly…). But I can relate to this. I have to be attracted to my man to be in the mood. He knows better than to eat garlic if he wants to get lucky!
- Don’t think alcohol will help. Research shows alcohol actually deters your ability to have an orgasm. It may give you liquid courage to be adventurous, but the “Big O” will be more elusive than ever.
- The largest penis recorded is 9 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches erect! (the guy lives in NY!! woo hoo!…no…it’s NOT MR. M…) But regardless…It’s not the size of that ship, baby…it’s the motion in the ocean!
- A women’s G spot DOES exist! It’s inside the vaginal wall toward the front. Supposedly you can feel it. The skin there will be a little rougher to the touch. Experiment!!! (Hey chicks, Misty here…the G spot feels spongy when you touch it. Click the picture to enlarge it – it’s an excellent graphic to help you find where it is. Go into your room/bathroom, lock the door, and Find. Yours. Make sure your hands are clean, of course. Use the diagram as a model – it’s the perfect hand placement to locate it. The middle finger works best. TMI? Squeamish? Get over it. 🙂 If you don’t even know where it is or how it can be stimulated, how are you supposed to help your partner find it? Now back to your regularly scheduled program…)
- A woman’s body can become used to climaxing in only one position. SWITCH IT UP! Practice on your own and get your body used to climaxing in other positions so that when you’re with your partner you have more options! Practice makes perfect. Think of it like training for the Olympics!
Now let’s get training girls, and while we’re doing that, I’m filling out patents from my new line of household appliances:
The ‘BIG O’ Super-Spin Washing Machine with Ride-On attachements.
The ‘Big O’ Chin Implant for your partner…(ACKKK!!!!)
Now let’s not be shy girls…this blog is to empower you to get your thoughts out there, your questions, your ideas!
Do you have issues with the “O”? Any ideas for others in reaching that elusive climax that everyone talks about? What works for you? Any crazy ideas from friends or acquaintances for reaching a climax? Have you ever faked it so your partner didn’t feel bad? (We are SUCH caretakers!)
Looking for suggestions here, girls…what works…what doesn’t? And guys out there? Feel free to chime in as well…We’d love to pick your brain.
Here’s to love, life, and mind-blowing, 25-second orgasms! Now get to work!