“O” Yes You Can! Big Os For All Chicks

We’re modern women right?  We are great wives/girlfriends, we raise great kids, we’re proficient at our careers and cooking and decorating and fundraising.  We’re awesome in bed….SCREEECH…(sound of needle scratching across your favorite vinyl record…)

I have to admit…I’m pretty awesome in bed…I can handle a mean remote, read thousands of pages a night AND sleep like a baby!  I have even managed to plot out a few good scenes for a book when I’m on that brink of just falling asleep when my imagination loves to run away with me! (Just like Vonnie!)

But that’s not what I’m talking about…

I’m talking about the Big O” today…The orgasm, the climax, la petite mort – the little death.  You know the one… 

She bucked against him, driving him deeper, whimpering as she felt a crescendo of pleasure unlike anything she had known before.  She was drowning in it, burning alive, her vision began to blur.  She felt the explosion build, felt it swell through her, ripple over her.  It tore through her body, heaving it, sending her scream echoing through the room as it tore through her, destroyed her. (compliments of one of my fav authors Lora Leigh!)


Now, I’m a total romance junkie, love the erotica genre for they way it stretches my imagination, but I’m totally fucking jealous of these heroines!!!

Come to find out…so are 80% of the women out there in the world!

The BIG O is one elusive booger.  EIGHTY PERCENT of women cannot reach orgasm from intercourse alone.  They need something to be stimulating the clitoris to achieve la petite mort.  

(In my opinion?  The Big Guy got it wrong….the penis should have been on the man’s chin!!! Wonder why they called this guy DudleyDoRight?)

Thirty percent (some statistics have this number as high as 43%) of women have  trouble reaching climax at all, and 15% of my wonderful friends out there have NEVER had an orgasm!

This is so sad.  Why is it that men seem to have no problem at all?

Possibly because of biology…a little ‘survival of the species’ crap going on here.  Think of the woman’s orgasm like a nipple on a guy.  There really is no purpose for it when it’s on the opposite sex!  Women need nipples (not orgasms) to feed their young and propagate the species…Men need orgasms (not nipples) to propagate the species.

So what’s a girl to do? (Yeah…I wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to do with his ‘unnecessary’….parts. (spelling Misty? two c’s…two s’s?? Grammar whore, here…gotcha covered, girlfriend.)

Get creative and…Practice, Practice, Practice!

I’m a bit jealous of my lesbian friends out there. Because of anatomy (lack of the penis), they actually have a much more creative sex life that suits a woman’s need to have clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm.

But there is hope for us heterosexual gals!  And here are some statistics to help you on your way!

  • The nerve endings in the clitoris extend WAY far into the mons pubis (where your pubic hair grows). Lots of surface area there, girls…Get using it! Know your parts and what they like!
  • Those pelvic floor muscles message inner nerve endings when you contract them, causing your own stimulation.  So don’t just lay there waiting for it to happen…you need to work it!  Contract that pelvis and join your partner in the movement.  This is why some women have been reported to have orgasms on the ab machine at the gym!
  • The typical female orgasm lasts 25 seconds.  So don’t be unrealistic in your expectations.
  • Practice makes perfect.  Go it alone girls.  Find out what feels good, and then give him/her a lesson!  Learn your sensitive spots, how you like to be touched (hard? soft? slow? fast?).  Use those ab muscles. Don’t forget your toys!  It’s a fact that fast vibration makes a clitoris extremely happy.  They make small “bullet” ones that you can use on yourself during intercourse.  Your man will love the sensation too!
  • Ramp up the foreplay!  He’s not into it? Doesn’t have time?  Do it yourself!  Read a hot book, start without him…then when you’re all hot and bothered…show him what you want!
  • The more masculine a man looks, the more likely you’ll be able to orgasm (supposedly…). But I can relate to this.  I have to be attracted to my man to be in the mood.  He knows better than to eat garlic if he wants to get lucky!
  • Don’t think alcohol will help.  Research shows alcohol actually deters your ability to have an orgasm.  It may give you liquid courage to be adventurous, but the “Big O” will be more elusive than ever.
  • The largest penis recorded is 9 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches erect! (the guy lives in NY!!  woo hoo!…no…it’s NOT MR. M…)  But regardless…It’s not the size of that ship, baby…it’s the motion in the ocean!
  • A women’s G spot DOES exist!  It’s inside the vaginal wall toward the front.  Supposedly you can feel it. The skin there will be a little rougher to the touch.  Experiment!!! (Hey chicks, Misty here…the G spot feels spongy when you touch it. Click the picture to enlarge it – it’s an excellent graphic to help you find where it is. Go into your room/bathroom, lock the door, and Find. Yours. Make sure your hands are clean, of course. Use the diagram as a model – it’s the perfect hand placement to locate it. The middle finger works best. TMI? Squeamish? Get over it. 🙂 If you don’t even know where it is or how it can be stimulated, how are you supposed to help your partner find it? Now back to your regularly scheduled program…)
  • A woman’s body can become used to climaxing in only one position.  SWITCH IT UP!  Practice on your own and get your body used to climaxing in other positions so that when you’re with your partner you have more options!  Practice makes perfect.  Think of it like training for the Olympics!

Now let’s get training girls, and while we’re doing that, I’m filling out patents from my new line of household appliances:

The ‘BIG O’ Crotch Rocket Ride-On Vacuum Cleaner with multiple vibration settings.

The ‘BIG O’ Super-Spin Washing Machine with Ride-On attachements.

The ‘BIG O’ Vibrating Ironing Board with Optional Heat Sensor.

The ‘Big O’ Chin Implant for your partner…(ACKKK!!!!)

Way to go Disney!

Now let’s not be shy girls…this blog is to empower you to get your thoughts out there, your questions, your ideas!

Do you have issues with the “O”?  Any ideas for others in reaching that elusive climax that everyone talks about?   What works for you?  Any crazy ideas from friends or acquaintances for reaching a climax?  Have you ever faked it so your partner didn’t feel bad? (We are SUCH caretakers!)

Looking for suggestions here, girls…what works…what doesn’t?  And guys out there?  Feel free to chime in as well…We’d love to pick your brain.

Here’s to love, life, and mind-blowing, 25-second orgasms!  Now get to work!

Love, J



  1. Sounds realll good, Josie, but I need a partner first. 🙂

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Gerri, Gerri, Gerri!!!! You don’t need a partner!! It’s all about YOU girl! Empower yourself! Discover yourself! Please yourself! Some women are so good at knowing what they like they do it better than any partner ever could! Then when that lucky lucky partner enters the pic….BooooooYaaaaa! Gerri’s a happy happy girl…cause she’s a chick who knows what she likes!

  2. LMFAO Josie. Try to different positions and see what you have to do for each one. Each stimulates differently and what you need to do changes–some work better than others. I like being on top in a chair because I can use my legs to give me a lot of control over how much and how fast that stimulation occurs. The other to think about is that orgasms are so different. Some are like big explosions and generate big screams; others are little pops with little sighs.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Sabrina…LOVE that!! little pops with little sighs….too cute and you are SO right. I’m not real good at the different position thing but Im determined. I like different positions but I definitely need pressure on my stomach so Mr. M. has to be sprawled out on top of me! I’m definitely gonna try your chair idea! It always looks so sexy in movies and in my mind from books! The old ‘he lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist while he pushed me up against the wall’ is a nice one too…I’m afraid Mr. M.’s poor little legs would give out. Not pretty….

    • “little pops with little sighs” – yeah, that’s pretty awesome!! 🙂

  3. Great topic and really well covered!! You are so right about getting used to only one position. You totally reminded me to switch it up. Oh and I completely second the whole “read the HOT books then when you are hot and bothered, get your man in there’! Works great for us!

    • Ha! Awesome, Alyson! Being adventurous with positions is not only fun, but a great way to increase the intimacy with your partner. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Alyson! So glad you ‘came’ by! (Im so corny…couldnt resist!) I love the hot books…at my age the libido takes a dive but some of my favorite authors are like a little viagra for the mind(and vajayjay!) Pick up the Kama sutra! 375 positions…some defy gravity!! (and all logical sense!)

  4. Mary Roya says:

    I guess this is why all the erotic romance novels do so well. We get to live vicariously though the heroine. Sigh….! Great blog!!!

    • Now, Mary…YOU don’t need to live vicariously!!! You’re such a badass, you could give the erotic writers pointers! 😀

      • Mary Roya says:

        The erotic writers don’t need my help. Where do you think I get my ideals? Hummm. LOL! There is nothing wrong with self pleasure. The more you learn what you like the more you enjoy yourself. What’s a lot of fun is having your partner help your experiment. So read something dirty and dig in the toy box flip the switch and have fun!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Ms. Roya….I do believe I see you blushing….NOT!!!! You’re my adventurer! Get out of vicarium land and strut your stuff. Misty is right! Your our chickswagger bad-ass! Practice, practice, practice!

  5. My guy is really into different positions. Remember, you don’t have to “finish” the way you start! It’s fun to move around, try a little of this, try a little of that…makes it interesting. And I think you really bond that way too because some positions definitely make the woman more vulnerable.

    Another reason to get to know exactly where your G-spot is is so you can actually orgasm in many of those different positions by knowing how to tilt your pelvis to stimulate it. Before I knew that, I was never able to “O” while laying flat on my belly with him on top. Now…omgosh. The sensation of being immobilized…

    Yeah, make sure you know where your spot’s at!!! 😀

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Hubada, hubada, Misty!…is there something wrong with me that I actually pictured Mr. D totally dominating my partner? Do you mind? Phew….Hawt! I’m gonna work on that…Im strictly an ‘on my back’ ‘O’er. I’ll have to remember to add a little curved edge to some of my patents to hit that right spot…Maybe some nice loooong fingered gloves!!!!

  6. Have you ever thought about writing a sex manual (smile!)

  7. Josie,
    You crack me up. A chair might be fun, but how about a chair you lift, lower, and twirl at will? Not sure if they have these places in New York, but I bet they got something similar.

    As for me, I think I may have to stay away from the ab machine now, but I heard almost any intensive ab workout can bring on an orgasm, even spinning.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Hey Morgan! You know…the chair thing is boggling to me…In my mind it seems so fun but logisticly, I dont think my legs could get the job done? Too short for any leverage. Isnt it funny when you picture some of these scenes from books they sound soooo good but probably would never work. I can just picture Mr. M. trying to lift me to his hips and slam me against the wall….ACKK!!! He’s pull his back out and probably blow out a knee or two!
      Sybaris looks beautiful! Mirrors anyone? Video tape? always wondered what we look like its either rally really good or REALLY REALLY bad so Im frightened to engage.
      The abdominal thing is pure physics…those muscles contracting and messaging all those nerve endings from the inside…NICE!
      Thanks for stopping by lovey!

      • Height and physical fitness make a big difference too. I am a very solid woman, my sweetie swept me off my feet once, he never did it again. He may have injured himself. So I totally understand about the chair, but I’ve wondered a bout a rocking chair too. 😉 worth a try

  8. Wow, what wonderful information. The Big O is important to all of us. Loved the diagrams, Misty! Super scientific research went into this topic.

    • Hey Kathleen! The diagrams were all Josie’s, I just wanted to elaborate a tad. Thanks for poppin’ in! 🙂

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Hi Kathleen! I’m a nurse….LOVE a good diagram! What is it they say? A pic is worth a thousand words? That is only if you don’t have a good saucy novel by your bedside. LOVE the written word for the imagination!
      I think the ‘O’ is important. I actually have a friend who has never experienced it… Im sure there are sooo many more out there like her. Wish I could help!
      Thanks for chimin’ in!

  9. Mary Roya says:

    Adam & Eve, an adult sex toy shop has these really cool sex sling, sex swings and even an attachment for you can do up against a door. So if you want to do, against the wall or door… there is a way. The help take the weight off each partner so you can have more enjoyment. So go check it out.

    • So Mary, are you endorsing these products? 😉 will definitely check out the site!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Thanks Mary! Hey!!! Funny thing just happened. You gotta love the internet….From ordering stuff online, my hubby just got the greatest catalog…Its a whole catalog of sexy underwear for….gay men! Lace…thongs…rainbow…little hip huggers! I gotta check out his credit card statement. Boy is HE IN TROUBLE!!!


  1. […] or other fun, fuck-me sexy toys. Rachael recommends System Jo clitoral stimulating gel (“because Josie’s post about how many women have trouble orgasming is just WRONG!”) Handcuffs, blindfold, and a […]

  2. […] with stroke depth and angle because all women’s G-spots are a little different. Josie has written a fab post about orgasms that includes info on how to find yours, in case you want a quickie refresher. Scroll down the page […]

  3. […] with stroke depth and angle because all women’s G-spots are a little different. Josie has written a fab post about orgasms that includes info on how to find yours, in case you want a quickie refresher. Scroll down the page […]

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