Do you ever have thoughts like…”I should so totally try…(fill in the blank with random crazy idea)“….but then, you never do? Well, today’s guest DID follow through on a personal challenge, and she’s here to talk about her adventures in Pole Dancing! Sometimes, shaking up the old, worn-out routine is just the spice a girl needs to freshen up her outlook! (Josie here….God, just loving this! I think we should all meet somewhere for a little chickswagger weekend and stretch our boundaries…TOGETHER!)
Here’s Morgan, y’all……
Over a year ago, freaked out about turning fifty, I purchased a Groupon for Introduction to Pole Dancing at Indy Pole Up Fitness. That coupon sat unused due to excuses from being too busy to living too far away. Well, we ended up moving closer, and I quit my day job, so my excuses dwindled.
Besides, where was that woman who thought she could do anything? I called to make my appointment.
All the students dressed alike. In our yoga pants and capris, we didn’t necessarily bring to mind pole dancers you see on television. (Remember all your crime shows usually have the detective go into some type of strip club to gather information. LOL.)
Marcy, our slender, young instructor, greeted us at the door with a smile and a waiver to sign—the usual thing about if you get hurt you won’t sue. (I appreciated the fact that the words death and dismemberment weren’t included.)
Marcy turned on music in the mirrored workout room lined with strips of colored lights. This was the last coherent thought I had before I jumped into a massive workout.
First, I was lulled into a false sense of capability by floor exercises. Who can’t lie on a mat with their feet in the air? Of course, most of the time when I’m on my back with my feet in the air, I’m just trying to get up as opposed to looking sexy. Now, however, I can look sexy while trying to get up by rubbing my foot along my other leg in the Flirty Legs move. BOO-YA!
My first encounter with my limitations was the Bad Kitty move, which is basically a sexy push up. Having a spin coach who insists on them, I know about push ups. But of course, a standard push up was not what Marcy wanted. Instead, balanced on my knees I had to slither down to the floor leaving my butt in the air. Trust me, it’s not as easy as it sounds because I had to leave my well-muscled arms out of the equation.
Well-endowed women had it easier because their rack would hit the floor first, stopping their descent. Me, on the other hand, took a face plant and slid my face across the floor. Good thing I’d only applied mascara. Did I mention I was wearing all black like Catwoman? Ha! My Bad Kitty needs work, but I could see it’s potential as a sensual move.
Marcy encouraged me gently. I felt like I was the slow student in the group, but hey, I have twenty years on most of them, and the ladies I came in with had previous lessons. Next it was on to our Sexy Strut. Hey, I know how to do this, I thought because I belly dance. The Sexy Strut gets you from one place to another, allowing you a break in the process. Up on our toes, we pranced around the dimly lit room while popular music played in the background.
Whenever the women danced, pranced, or did anything that might be remotely giggle-worthy, the lights went down to spare the participants any embarrassment. Smart move! This way I could imagine that sexy shadow really was me, instead of noticing the lint and dust on my black outfit. Okay, maybe that was just me.
Next, wall work. Bet you never thought pole dancers worked on the wall. Our first move was Officer or Frisk. You probably get the idea. Instead of spreading your arms and legs and remaining perfectly still, your hips and legs move, creating a sexy silhouette and maybe making the officer forget why he pulled you over. Try this the next time you’re stopped for speeding.
Or maybe not.
Finally—onto the pole. We pranced around it, spun by holding onto it and kicking out a leg. Momentum, weight, and how hard you kick does the rest. Trust me, I could spin, but I never really ended up where I should, which brought the helpful instructor to my side. Hand placement was my problem, she said. Not high enough, I swung out too far, flying around the pole like a windsock. In the dim light of the studio, I was spinning, turning, doing undulations against the pole like everyone else. Well, almost. Mainly I was just trying to follow instructions while fantasizing about a cold drink of water.
We ended class by performing two songs using all the techniques we’d learned. I didn’t feel any embarrassment as I was too intent on remembering my moves. It was a fun, fast ninety minute class.
Our instructor stripped off her yoga pants and shirt to reveal a sparkly two-piece. She climbed the pole wrapped her legs around it, hung upside down, and spun slowly down. She engaged in several graceful moves we could learn in a series of classes over the upcoming year. Marcy did such a wonderful job it made me understand why men liked to watch pole dancing. And no, I don’t think it’s the same reason.
The next class coming in was the advanced class, which allowed me to talk to a few members who seemed to be closer to my age. They gushed about how it had changed their lives for the better. One woman even had a pole installed in her house so she could practice. They wrap up their eight-week class with a dance recital for spouses to highlight what they’ve learned. But apparently after the last class a woman tried to perform a lap dance on her husband. Oops. “So inappropriate,” one member explained.
Anyway, it’s all about fitness and fun. Where else can you buy a shirt for your significant other that features the classic skirted female icon with the words YOUR WIFE above it next to a silhouette of a woman on the pole with the words MY WIFE above it?
As a workout, it’s intense. Just ask my shoulders and thighs this morning. I am from the old school of thought, if I doesn’t hurt the next morning then I didn’t push myself enough. Trust me, I pushed myself. Would I do it again? I might, but I need a pole partner. Any volunteers?
Thanks, Morgan! Josie here. I am soooo awed by this. I would love to try it sometime. Just think of how much fun and laughs you could have at my expense! And I have to tell you, the girls who do this for a living or consistently as a workout are some athletes!
Exercise? Find something you love and go for it, Chicks…just like Morgan! (Hey! Spencer’s Gifts sells poles for the home!!! YeeeHaaaaw!)
Morgan K Wyatt engages in adventures, just like her newest heroine, Darla, in BLIND DATE, available at Amazon for .99 cents. Definitely less than a pole dance lesson.
AND GOOD NEWS! Morgan is giving away TWO FREE COPIES to commenters (winners posted on Friday)!
CONGRATS TO OUR LUCKY WINNERS: SONYA & TERRI!
So tell us, have you ever tried pole dancing or wanted to? What other kinds of activities have you always wanted to try, but just haven’t yet?