Men should read paranormal romance. I recently read a fabulous article on this very topic. My first reaction? What a great thought. My second? Never. Going. To. Happen.
Yep, it’s totally unfair, but as wonderful as paranormal romances are (and believe me I know, because I’m addicted to them), my hubby will never, ever read one. He’d rather have all of his teeth pulled out. One by one.
Why, you might ask, do I want my man to hone in on his inner Alpha? What is so great about Alpha males anyway? Well, they’re BIG family men, 100% committed to their woman. They’d rather die (or tear their enemy to pieces) than see any harm come to their woman. And…they’re passionate *wink wink* Need I say more?
So what can we do to help cultivate these wonderful qualities? Okay, so right now you’re thinking… Rachael, seriously, you want me to do MORE work? My relationship is fine, and I have too many other things on my plate.
That’s the beauty of this. We’re actually talking about LESS work.
Here are five simple ways to nourish your man’s inner Alpha:
1. Let him open the pickle jar. You know six ways, other than brute strength, to open a pickle jar? Great! But when your man’s around, let him do it for you. He’s got the muscles, let him use them! This is definitely the case where you’d let your Alpha male rip your enemy’s throat out. Yes, and a pickle jar sure might not be an enemy, but they still annoy me.
Okay, so maybe my hubby has to wrestle pots of hot water and pickle jars out of my hands, but I do occasionally give in, because I know it’s his way of showing me he cares.
2. The door, a.k.a. the chivalry option. When my DH and I were dating, I had him trained. Didn’t have to open a single door. Then along came baby #1, and our life changed to “Honey, you grab the car seat, I’ll get the diaper bag, and then we’ll unload everything, hopefully before baby wakes.”
I have a hard time sitting still and letting someone else do something for me that I can easily do myself, BUT, being taken care of is one of life’s simple pleasures that we should remind ourselves to indulge in.
Even when life butts in with babies and groceries.
Our chivalry compromise? When we have our date nights, the rules of the door still apply.
3. Catch him in the act. Hey, get your head out of the gutter! (at least for a minute…) Not that act.
I’m talking about…“Honey, thank you so much for folding the laundry tonight.” Use words, or better—actions—to reward him for helping around the house.
Remember when I said Alpha males are passionate? For a guy, it’s a really simple equation he’s not going to forget: folding laundry + sex = want to fold laundry again.
Hey, it worked for Pavlov. And I may or may not have performed this experiment at home. Not telling. Seriously.
But if anyone’s man starts getting frisky at the sight of fresh laundry, do let me know.
Ta da! Less work!
4. Show him you need him by letting him take the lead.
Okay, so everyone’s probably experienced the Cave Man Syndrome, otherwise known as the downside of Alpha males. The pig-headed stubbornness, the grunting instead of answering with real words, etc.
But there can be an upside to the male brain
(I know, I’m shocked too). Alpha males are natural problem solvers, natural doers. They like to be in charge (even if you and I know they’re really not), and they like to be needed (don’t we all?).
Hey ladies, there’s a reason why men were the hunters, the leaders in dance. It’s basic physiology. They’re our protectors. And we’re not talking women’s rights here.
We don’t need them… but it’s okay to want them.
Show him a little vulnerability, and that you trust him. Even try a little submission role-playing in bed (oops, where’d that come from?).
My point is *ahem*, when he plays the part of the gentleman, you get to feel like a lady, and you’ll both feel special.
5. Be the heroine. Okay, so I lied. There is some work involved. But relationships are two-way streets, right?
Alpha males don’t fall for just anyone. In fact, they’re notorious for not falling until that special woman challenges them in a way no one else ever has. It’s as much the heroine’s flaws as her virtues that capture his interest. Her outspoken tongue that contradicts him when no one else is brave enough to do so. The way she snorts when she laughs.
Every heroine has a quality that’s admirable. What made your man fall for you?
Sweet! Now, be the woman he fell in love with.
It only takes a few minutes for your brain to decide whether you’re attracted to someone (no, I didn’t make that up, I learned it in a workshop), and chances are, your man still remembers what first attracted him to you. Ask him and maybe you’ll both find a way to re-light that spark.
Step on in and get your hands dirty. Or get a manicure. Whatever your man likes.
What have we learned? Don’t repress that Alpha male gene. It’s okay for us as women to acknowledge that we can’t, and shouldn’t, pile everything onto our own plates. And… a little role differentiation can make the world a happier place. Or at least your home. Or maybe not. You decide!
And if you ever do catch your man reading a romance novel, don’t laugh. Jump into bed and join him!
Well, ladies? Time to cough up your tricks for getting your man to do what you want. What’s one Alpha male behavior in your man’s repertoire? What’s one you’d like to add?
Disclaimer: Bouts of surliness and extreme jealousy may accompany Alpha male behavior. ←Yeah, but it’s totally worth it!