The usual graphic warning applies here: mature content, no one under 18, NSFW, yada, yada…
So, the holiday rush is over, the world hasn’t come to an end, and we’ve made our resolutions. (What? You haven’t either? Screw it then. We’re solid.) It’s time to do what we do best…
Talk about sex.
Alrighty then, since it’s been a while, I want to remind you that this isn’t a topic exclusively for 20- or 30-somethings. It’s not just for beach bodies or women who already feel like sex goddesses.
It’s for us…everyday chicks who have busy lives with kids or aging parents, career responsibilities, bills to pay, chores to do, and not enough damn time to do it all, much less time for leisure pursuits.
The good news is, today’s suggestions don’t require extra time or money. Just a little edginess. A desire to push your boundaries a little further in order to increase your pleasure as well as deepen (hiccup, snort) your connection with your partner.
Ready? Cum along with me…
If you’re like me, you already have them all over the effin’ house. People, I have 58 pillows scattered about. Damn. Think it’s an obsession? My man gives me shit about it all the time, but let me tell you, one night not too long ago he was singing a different tune about those potential pleasure puffs when I had ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL ORGASMS OF MY LIFE.
So, if you haven’t added pillows to your sexual repertoire, that needs to change right now.
Here’s what you can do:
PILLOW UNDER HIPS IN MISSIONARY. This position is incredible! It not only allows more friction on your clitoris with the base of his penis, but it also changes the angle of your vagina so if he alternates between full strokes (clit stimulation) and shallow thrusts (as in, him sitting back on his heels with the just tip of his penis entering only an inch or two) the head of his penis will be like, “hey, girlfriend” to your very happy G-spot. (You’ll want to experiment with stroke depth and angle because all women’s G-spots are a little different. Josie has written a fab post about orgasms that includes info on how to find yours, in case you want a quickie refresher. Scroll down the page to the graphic with the woman with her fingers up her vag.)
One last note here: pillow under the hips is also good for oral sex. No chin-in-the-mattress neck kinks for the guys.🙂
Okay, that wasn’t too edgy, right? No sweat! Now, how about…
STACKED PILLOWS TO SUPPORT A RAISED LEG IN DOGGIE STYLE. This one gets your heart thumpin’ because of the vulnerability of the position. Once you’re revved up and the juices are flowing, go up on your hands and knees in regular doggie style, but then raise your leg like you’re a male dog about to take a whiz (sorry for the non-sexy graphic, but I want to make sure everyone’s on the same page. LOL).
Put a stack of pillows under your knee, making sure your shins are also supported. I recommend having this stack at the ready, and then just shifting your body toward it so it doesn’t stop the action. Much sexier that way. This position allows very deep penetration, especially if he comes at you from a slight angle, his hip closer to your raised leg, so make sure you’re ready for his onslaught.
If you’re worried about how you look down under, just remember, candles can be a girl’s best friend. Besides that, your man is gonna be so hot because this position is so erotic he’s gonna think your ass and other bits are simply luscious. So batten down the hatches on any negative self-chatter and think like a bitch in heat.
Got it? A man gets tremendous satisfaction when he knows his woman wants it just as bad as he does—so let him know. Tell him if you want him to grab your hair, curl his body over you as he thrusts, or touch your clitoris with his free hand(s).
Is it gettin’ hot in here, or is it just me?
Do we have time for one more? Hell yeah!
HAVE PILLOW, WILL TRAVEL. Okay, with this one, I want you to open your
legs mind to the possibilities. As in, possibilities outside the four walls of your bedroom. Sex in non-traditional places ups the heat level tremendously by increasing your brain’s levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to romance and sex drive. So maybe you’ve always wanted your man to bend you over the kitchen table. How about the arm of a chair, sofa, or purrrrr…the washing machine?
Sometimes you might be so hot it doesn’t matter if you get bruised in the process, but when you’re burned out at the end of a long day, comfortable sex sounds infinitely better, am I right?
Pillows, how do I love thee?
Pillows cushion the pounding so we can give ourselves up to the moment. This is where strategic pillow placement comes in handy. If you don’t usually have pillows in a certain spot you have in mind for debauchery, put one there in advance and let that little secret work on you all day.
Text or call your man and tell him you put a pillow in the laundry room/office/bathroom and hope he can help you put it to good use later. Talk about foreplay. Hell, you might be so hot you don’t even want the damn thing when push comes to shove (what a great cliché).
Not only can you use the pillow to cushion your hips when he enters you from behind, but you can lay back on it on a desk, counter, or a hard floor and then place the backs of your thighs against his belly and chest so your calves are on either side of his face (erotic, vulnerable position, not the best for a woman’s orgasm, but very fun to sample).
Option two while reclining against the pillow is to rest the backs of your knees against the undersides of his elbows so he’s supporting your legs (Obviously, I’m talking about when you’re off the ground and your legs have nowhere to go and he’s between them.). You can also go up on your elbows so you can both have a very erotic visual of him thrusting. It also makes your breasts bounce more, and Lord knows, men love that.
One final idea, and this one’s for you, fellas.
KINKY GAME PLAN 7: Wall-play can be fucking hot.
There is no rocket science involved here, but your woman can go from NOT to HOT in a few breathless moments with this move.
What you can do: follow your little woman to the laundry room (or kitchen or wherever, just go with me here), take both of her hands, lace your fingers together, and slowly back her into a wall. The key here is proceeding sloooowly. DELIBERATELY. Think “slow dancing in a burning room” sexy… Listen, if you have six minutes, click the video below to hear John Mayer kill it with this live version. It will go down as one of the sexiest songs of all time in my book…
Still with me, boys?
Good. Keep eye contact with your woman while you’ve got her back against the wall. Smile ever so slightly. A little dangerously even. Like she might not come away from this the same. Communicate your desire for her in your eyes. Tell her she’s beautiful, and that you’ve been waiting to do this all day.
At this point, she’ll be laughing, or worried about the kids finding you, or maybe complaining about the hundred other things she has to do before bed. But don’t worry, you’ve got her attention. Do you have her against the wall yet? Tell her something specific you love about how she looks. Do you love how her hair feels when it runs through your fingers? Do you love the dimple when she smiles? Do you think she has the sexiest eyes/breasts/legs/ass/fillintheblank of any woman alive?
Press your joined hands into the wall, hold her there, CROWD HER and begin to kiss her neck, her jawbone, her temple, the corner of her lip, suckle her ear and inhale deeply, whispering whatever comes to mind. Push the edges of what you think she’s comfortable with.
Unless she’s really stressed, you will have her undivided attention at this point. If you feel like it, let go of her hands and take her face between your hands and relearn those suckable lips of hers. Press your thigh between her legs at her groin, kiss her wherever feels good—you’ll know what to do—and when you feel a spike in her breathing or she starts to grind on your leg, ease away.
That’s right, you horny bastard, back away.
Leave her restless and edgy. Aware. Hungry. Ask her what you can do to help her finish her chores so you can resume your little house party STAT. And then, do it. Pepper your activity with non-genital touching and whispers about what you want to do to her soon.
It can all start with an innocent wall. Anywhere in the house will do. Use it! I’ll go out on a limb and hazard a guess that for most women, there’s just something exciting about being held immobile between a hard surface and hot muscle. Don’t lose your courage if she initially laughs or frowns at you, stay the course. Her sounds of pleasure will reward you later. This is super fun foreplay—a slow seduction that can happen long before the clothes hit the ground.
Although…sex with clothes on can be reeeally fun, too. But then, that’s another post, isn’t it?
Whew! Was it good for you, too?
Are pillows a part of your sexual repertoire? How else do *you* use them in the bedroom…or beyond?