Here I am–Your Token Wrinkle by Vonnie Davis

Mom2Hi my lovelies, I’m excited about being a part of this fabulous, edgy blog. I’ll be bringing a different perspective to things, an older perspective. Yes, I am the token wrinkle, the bearer of cottage cheese thighs, and the “why-the-hell-not?” lady. I’m a product of the sixties and wore hip-huggers before I had hips to hug. I survived the seventies and didn’t inhale once…twice, maybe, but never once. I’ve protested, burned my bra and breached the male dominated work environment at Mack Trucks, working on the engine line. I started college at the age of forty-four, met the love of my life at fifty-five and at sixty-two realized my dream of being published.


But don’t let my Medicare card fool you. I’ve still got some swagger left. Oh hell yeah! According to my husband, I am the most passionate women he’s ever met. But, what are my passions? Love, life, learning, writing, grandchildren and sex. One of my many lesser passions is the color red. Red is such a sensual, sexual color, don’t you think? Some insist black says “sex”, but red? Ah, red spells it so delightfully and succinctly, don’t you think?

 3D Word Sex on red background

Why is that, I wonder? Do you think it’s because it’s a bold color? A strong hue? A shade of vibrancy? Add a dash of red to whatever you’re wearing and see if you don’t feel more powerful, more sensual, more “you can’t handle this, baby” as you strut down the street. And ladies, I’m all about empowering women.

So now that I’ve gently led you down the sensual garden path, let’s get to some empowering tips, shall we? Because, face it, a woman is happiest when she’s in charge of her body AND her sex life.

Tip number one: Learn what to text.

 I know you know how. But the “what” is the important thing. Imagine your significant other reading this text at work: I’m at the store and they’re running a special on edible underwear. How many should I buy? Now, even if he grumbles and growls, you’ve planted that visual. And darlin’, when he gets home, he’ll have you up against the wall. Gawd, even with my arthritic knees, I love me some up against the wall sex. Don’t you?


Or text him: I wrote a poem about what you’ll be like when you fall asleep tonight. Wanna hear it? Fried. Died. And laid to the side. Okay, so you could probably do better in the poetry department. But you get the gist of what I’m saying: A little suggestive humor never hurts. Make sure he thinks about you and your text the rest of his boring work day. 

Tip number two: Learn when to talk.

This tip is best used when your partner is sulking. You know how men are… I’ll give you two examples that have worked well for me. Let’s say you’re going somewhere he doesn’t want to go, like your mom’s for Sunday dinner or boring Aunt Ethel’s for Thanksgiving. When you get out of the car, take his arm and whisper you’re not wearing any underwear. Then whenever you make eye contact, wink or smile. He’ll be afraid to stand up for fear everyone will see what he’s got. Yes, ladies, seduction should be fun. And you should be doing your fair share of it. I mean, why should men have all the fun? Torture him with your inner vixen. A power trip like that is a powerful aphrodisiac.  

Never underestimate the value of a good quality trench coatwoman with serious expression. When you pick him up at the airport or train station or go shopping together, wear it. Imagine his reaction when you tell him you’re not wearing anything underneath. I’m here to tell you we’ve made more quick stops than the Fed-Ex driver. Granted most trench coats are a boring tan, but it’s the pink parts underneath that’s the most important. Right? 

Tip three: Learn the value of quickies.

Hearing young adults talk about never having the time nor the energy for sex is a puzzlement. To me, it’s like saying you didn’t have time to brush your teeth and floss. Priorities, people! A quickie or two during the week leads to a longer love-making session on the weekends. And the longer your man can hold off his orgasm, the better you’ll be able to reach yours. It’s a sexual win-win. ?????????????????

How many times has your partner been in the shower and you failed to strip down and step in with him? Tsk…tsk…tsk. Why are you denying yourself, darlins’? Soap his body up and whisper some compliments. Guys need to hear them, too, ladies. Bite his shoulder while you soap up Doctor Love and the twins. He’ll be “putty” in your hands…and why the hell not? You’re in the shower, wash it off afterward!

Tip four: Become an expert at oral sex

Just like composing an email or making a good pasta sauce, giving great head is a life-long skill that will serve you well.  

Tip five: Embrace sex toys Female hand with handcuffs for sex games

A little kink never hurt anyone. What’s vanilla ice cream without the syrup and the sprinkles? Learn to “play” with each other. You do want your man to have eyes only for you, right? Right? Make him your love prisoner, baby.  

Tip six: Demand respect 

All of the tips above involve you being in control. I’m an old woman’s libber. I’ve marched and fought for women’s rights. And, in my opinion, women have the right to be in charge sexually. We have the right to say what we want from our partner and to experiment with him on the things he likes. Educate yourself on sex. Read the Karma Sutra. Buy some good sex books. If he asks for something you can’t or don’t want to do, you’ll be educated enough to dazzle him with something you choose to do. Sex is eighty percent mental…and a mind is a terrible thing to waste. rose and hearts

                                UNTIL NEXT TIME, HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, Y’ALL!
In closing… I have an old sex book I still refer to: “101 Ways to Blow Your Lover’s Mind.” Tell me, what’s the best sex book you’ve ever read??? I’ve got an Amazon gift card I’m just itching to burn. ~ Vonnie


  1. Misty, Loved the new post. Tell Vonnie I think she is a whoot! What a wonderful post for Valentines Day! Diane Kratz

  2. Vonnie, I love this. Bahahaha! I am differently going to try the ‘no panties’ statement. Just to see what happens.

    • Oh, Mary, sometimes it’s best to unsettle them a bit. Especially if they’re men who like routine. Men are visual creatures. Sometimes you have to place the visual in their minds.

  3. When I was a teenager a girlfriend pulled out her older sister’s copy of The Sensuous Woman. We giggled and laughed as we read the pages out loud. I remember years later being at a party where we played a game and one of the questions was What’s The Butterfly Flick? When I answered the question everyone turned and stared at me, except my husband… he just smiled. Hmmm, you ladies have me sharing way too much!

  4. Well…I guess experience matters! You show your age well Vonnie.

    • Oh, Kylie, imagine my face when my 21-year-old grandson called me to tell me he was reading my debut romance. “Grandma, this is a different side of you…” Well, I can do more than make cookies and pasta sauce. Kids, they act like you stop thinking about sex at 45.

      • ““Grandma, this is a different side of you…” Well, I can do more than make cookies and pasta sauce. ———– LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Josie Matthews says:

        That’s my biggest fear Vonnie!!! Someone in my family reading my love scenes!!! They are so personal!

        • Josie, I know what you men. My brother is a minister…don’t choke on your coffee…he is. But I’ve reached the point in my life where I have to be true to me. If I’d written a mystery with a murder or a tale of an abducted child, there’d be no backlash. But write a story with a couple sex scenes and everyone gets their undies in a twist. I just don’t get that. Since when is two people sharing tenderness and deep emotion wrong?

  5. Doctor Love and the twins??? ROFLOLOL! Oh sweet baby, you make me laugh! BUT being married to a Scorpio (in case none of y’all know, that’s one of the highest sexed astrological signs), I must admit…me and the DH do all of the above. Nothing in the entire world is better than the mid-afternoon bathroom quickie. Sorry, folks. It’s true. And since it’s the only room in our entire house that has a lock…well, you get the picture. Needless to say our sex life has never been better. Not sure if this has to do with our age, the fact that the kids can finally take more care of themselves, or if we’ve just committed to not losing that part of our relationship. Either way…RAWR! I’m all for it! 🙂

    Your post is outstanding, Vonnie! Love it! Thanks for the V-Day tips! XOXO

    • It’s important for a woman to embrace her sexuality, don’t you think AJ? Once we do, there’s an added dimension to our lives. Many of my generation fought the “servitude” of marriage–and rightfully so. We are not some man’s servant. We are his partner. His equal and then some. Men are damned lucky to have us. Having said that, I know I am happiest in a commited relationship. My husband spoils me. And I like to think I spoil him in return. There is equality in the shared intimacies, shared tasks and shared family experiences, but to reach that point there must first be respect. Thanks for leaving a comment, AJ. Once our children no longer demand our 24-hour watching, we can hit our sexual stride. So glad you’ve hit yours.

      • Josie Matthews says:

        My kids are mortified when they find the bedroom door locked! It’s a major…”Gettin’ It On!” msg! I think its good to show your kids (well…not literally!) that parents have a loving relationship. It will help them be comfortable with their own sexuality! My parents made me feel like sex was awful and dirty….Hubby definitely redefined it for me. Including refreshers!
        Love you Vonnie!!!

        • I get what you’re saying, Josie. Kids hate the thought of their parents being intimate. It ups their “ick” factor. And that’s ok, they are kids being kids…and that’s normal. Also normal is for you and your husband to seek some personal loving time. In a few years, your children will be away at college or on their own. Your marriage will hopefully last forever. You and your husband should be making some sensual, intimate memories.

  6. Oh, Vonnie, I just love this post in so many ways!! I especially love how you’re blasting the myths about sex & age. Sex in my 30s and now 40s is way better than it was in my 20s because I was self-conscious about a lot of things…and I had a “better” body back then, so go figure!

    These suggestions rock!! I’m definitely going to start texting my man more because that’s just naughty. 🙂 About the trench coat thing…that may have to wait until the kids fly the nest because I’m not sure how I’d manage that! Something to look forward to… 🙂

    • Funny you should mention the trench coat. I caught Calvin the other day in the coat closet, hanging up his jacket. His fingers trailed down my trench coat and his gaze swept to mine. “Angel, just thinking about some of the things we’ve done with this coat gets me all heated.” Well…one should never let a heated man go to waste.

  7. Good Morning Vonnie,
    I always believed yours and Calvin’s love story is one of the classics. Now I know it is a hot classic. LOL

  8. Well hot damn, V. You certainly ‘nailed’ this topic. 😉

    You know, I’ve been trying to teach “the serge” how to text for a while now. After a comprehensive lesson one morning, he called me from work to say, “this is my first official text”. The smart ass. Since then he’s learned to read texts but is still reluctant to answer in kind. Guess what text he’ll be receiving this afternoon? he he he. I wonder how many typos his response will contain. 😉

    I love it, babe. Thanks for the awesome tips.

  9. Dr. Love O-O? The twins??? Bwahahaha! Wait til I use that name. 😉 I’m sure gonna use the no underwear one, too. It doesn’t take much with mine. A wink and he’s putty. LOL

    Nice post, Von! 🙂

    • Hi Calsa, there’s nothing that says sex shouldn’t also be fun. That’s the beauty of it. With some imagination and effort, sex can go from passionate to comforting to a deep hunger to laughter. If one’s sex life is the “same-old, same- old” then one or both of you aren’t in charge. You’re both floating aimlessly down the river. Ladies, take charge. Put some surprise and sizzle into it. Tell him what you want in a sensual purr. Men listen better to whispers than screaming. Save the screaming for those big O moments.

  10. Vonnie, you are one wicked lady and I love it with chocolate fudge sauce and a cherry on top! The power of the sexy text or revealing ‘no knickers’ works every time. 😉

  11. Vonnie, you are a “chick” who will always “swagger.” I’m so happy you joined this team!

  12. What a great post, and what awesome sexual wisdom, Vonnie! Now there’s going to be a whole lot of us ladies running around panty-less this Valentine’s Day–and a whole lot of satisfied men! Thanks Vonnie! 🙂

  13. Josie Matthews says:

    Vonnie…love your first post! Welcome welcome and way to warm us up for V day!!! I was in the drug store looking at cards and couldnt find a one that spoke to me for my Valentine…I think showing up at his work with just my lil’ole’trenchy is a better idea anyway…..Oh…wait…He shares an office with my brother and my father….maybe Ill bring them blindfolds, and ear plugs, and chocolate chip cookies…thatll keep ’em busy!

    • Give your dad and brother their cookies first. Walk over to hub’s desk and, keeping your back to dad and brother, open your coat ever-so-slowly…you know, just enough that he can glimpse just a peek. Close your jacket, step over his tongue that’s sure to have rolled out on the floor, wave goodbye and leave. Darlin’, he’ll be primed by the time he gets home.

  14. Rachel Brimble says:

    As usual, I am absolutely bowled over with you, Vonnie, my darlin’!! You are an amazing and your husband is one LUCKY man, LOL!! I’m 39 in April and the kids are at the age they are wandering around, walking in bedroom without knocking, knowing about sex and seemingly determined to make sure their parents get NONE. Don’t you worry though, girlfriend…me and Mr B are keeping the flag a-flying!! 😉

    Rachel xx

    • I remember those years, Rachel. It was as if they had “hard-on radar.” That’s why consistent bedtimes and a lock on the bedroom door are so important. LOL so glad you enjoyed my post. Hugs to you, darlin’.

  15. Fab post. Three cheers for not getting old gracefully! Wrinkles are a life lived so keep it up ladies.

  16. And by the way you are my hero. I still plan on meeting the love of my life even though I passed the 50 mark and to blossom in this later, just as great stage of life.

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