Really!? Who was it? A man, of course. I mean, no woman in her right mind would agree to this. So, who was the person who started this cluster fuck? And what has my baggie bloomers in a twist this time? It’s the latest male jargon I’m hearing too much of lately. And God help the next man I hear who with a smirk says, “You sound like a girl. Man up!” Or “Oh look, he’s got his girl on.”

eyebrow Excuse me? (Note one finely plucked eyebrow raises in irritation as these three syllables are exhaled.)

Let’s dissect these sentences.

To say one sounds like a girl is to imply there’s something negative about being a girl. Are we not equals? Do we not breathe the same air? Do we not vote and carry our own Visa cards?

This is 2013 and yet some of us seem to want to revert to the 1950’s when women were thought of as weak, less intelligent, less valuable as men. And it really jerks my feminist chain. Please ladies, I implore you, don’t allow this to happen. When you hear a guy—stranger or lover—express this ancient mentality, call him on it.

When he can tug on a pair of pantyhose and stilettos and dance backwards, then he can talk about being more coordinated.

When he, who whines over a headache, lives through a case of bad cramps, a series of hot flashes and, God forbid, childbirth, then he can talk about being stronger.

When he gets up early to get things ready for the children’s day at school before going to work so he can rush home to make supper, throw a load of laundry into the washer that he’s had to gather off everyone’s floors, help with homework, soothe cranky kids, and STILL have the energy for monkey sex, then he can brag about being able to do more than a woman.

Until then, stop inferring we are “less than.”

We’ve fought those battles, my darlings, don’t allow the male gender to drag us backwards.

To suggest women are whiny or cry easily over little things is damn insulting. Makes me so mad I could just bawl. That’s right, you heard me. A woman’s DNA is programmed to express more emotion or to fall in love with a pair of shoes. While a man’s DNA is programmed to cry over a lost sporting event or scratch his balls when he’s in deep thought. Yes, we are different. Thank God. But let’s not build up one sex by degrading another.

Men are wondrous creatures.

I love everything about them: their muscles, their deep laughter, the way their whiskers upbraid the skin and elicit both chills and heat, the feel of their arms about me and the different ways they view the world. I’d sooner converse with a group of men than women. I love them.

What I don’t love is their need to belittle us. I’m not having it. Not one damn bit of it. So the next man I hear berating another man about sounding like a girl, I’m going to smile and sweetly say, “Really? Gee, I didn’t know he was that smart.”

Sometimes you just gotta fight nasty with nasty.



  1. I’m going to start calling you Vonnie the Wise from now on! 🙂 You go, girl! I just exercised my hard earned vote today in an election we had. I still shudder every time I recall how viciously we had to fight for that right, and regardless of the politics behind it, I exercise my right to vote to honour those women 🙂

    And yes on the childbirth! I think kicking men out of birthing rooms (historically) was a bad move on our part. They need to see that, to witness the awesomeness that is woman 🙂

    Thanks for the great post, Vonnie!

  2. As the lone female in a house full males, I completely concur! My sons might be young but they already know that if someone says you “fight like a girl” then you must be strong. After all, their aunt had breast cancer for nine years and fought it hard.

    Ask most kids who they want after a bad fall, or a bad scare and most cry, “Mommy!”

    Heck, in my house, my boys say [they] “…aren’t afraid of the monsters under the bed because Mommy already scared them away.”

    • Mary, you are so right! I ask you, how many NFL players have you seen look into the camera and mouth “Hi Dad”? No, it’s always “Hi Mom.” Yay you for scaring away those mosters at bedtime. Love it!

    • Mom’s ROCK!

      I’m totally lovin’ this girl power theme building like a fast movin’ train…

    • Doh! Mary, your comments brought tears to my eyes! I know many women who have fought that battle of breast cancer and it is indeed a fight and not for the faint of heart. Courageous women, indeed! And my mom was one of those maternal guardians who chased those monsters away under my bed! Huzzah!

  3. Mary, I love what your boys say about Mommy scaring away the monsters. That term, “Man up” really annoys me. And, Vonnie, you’re the best!

    • Thanks, Angela. I agree. Something about the expression “man up” makes my eyeballs itch. A better expression in many cases would be “grow up.” But when “man up” signifies superiority over “woman up,” then I object loud and clear.

  4. Ohh, honey, I love it when you get worked up. I agree with every word. Terrifically said!

  5. amen.

  6. All I can say at this moment is – “I love you, Vonnie! You rock!”

  7. V, I could just give you a big smooch right now. This post is Swagger with a capital “S” – and you know what I especially love about it? It’s not at the *expense* of men…it’s a rant against inequality. You’re what’s called an influencer. You have a knack for stirring people’s emotions – and you do it in such an entertaining way. I love watching you go. Thanks for such an uplifting post, girl! 🙂 xoxo

    • Thanks, Misty. Smooch away. 😉 I read a quote once by German philospher, Frederich Nietzsche. “Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one.” I took from that to disagree with the behavior without condeming the person who owns that behavior. If I put someone else down for their unequal treatment of others, I undo what I’m trying to say. And, of course, a dash of humor never hurts. Glad you enjoyed the post.

  8. Well, who gave V her soap box back? I want to shake your hand! Great post, V! My favorite bumper sticker is one that says Cowgirl Up.

  9. WHOOOOO HOOOOO! Fantastic post, V, as usual! I have a little post on my blog that I will never take down. It says: Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, “Oh shit…she’s awake.” That’s riiiight. Because only a female could make Satan’s balls hitch up[ in fear. Well said, my friend!

    • I love that, AJ! My family says the same thing about me most days. Oh wait- that’s due to hormones, not awesomeness, totally different topic. LOL *start cringing Satan! AJ’s up.*

      • ajnuest says:

        ROFLOL Calisa! Ah, yeah, there is that isn’t there. I swear my dh can take one look at my face and tell when I’m having one of those days. Without fail, he slowly backs out of the room. Inside I know he’s thinking. “I’m not messin with that.” LOL I love him to bits!

    • Thanks, AJ! We must always snuff out any sparks of inequality whether aimed at our gender, people with disabilities, those of other races or religions or sexual orientation. We are all humans. Blue-eyed, green-eyed, grey or brown…makes no difference, at least it shouldn’t. So glad you stopped by, hon!

    • AJ…girl, you forever have me laughin’! “Because only a female could make Satan’s ball hitch up in fear!” ROFLMFAOAPMP!!! (for those of you who don’t know those last four letters: an peeing my pants).

    • AJ, I’ve had that Satan quote on my FB quotes for a couple of years now. LOVE THAT! 😉

  10. Great post Vonnie. Are you aware that studies show boys cry ten times more often than girls from birth to age 10-12? I guess that’s when the programming starts sinking in.

    • I did not know that, Sandra. Thanks for sharing. And WHO was the idiot who said men can’t cry? Tell me that? My Calvin and I get teary-eyed over the same movies and news clips. And believe me, he’s all man. I cringe when I hear parents telling their male child, “boys don’t cry.” Oh really? Then why were they given tear ducts? So boys stop crying to vent their frustrations and start hitting things to blow off their steam. Oh yeah, that’s productive…

      • Yep! I totally agree, Vonnie! As always, you ROCK woman!!!! And your Calvin sounds like my DeWayne. He’s not afraid to shed a tear and he is definitely ALL man. Your post made me guffaw and grin…as always. You’re a hoot, lady! Love ya!

      • ajnuest says:

        Oh, don’t even get me started on that topic. Besides, I love a man who cries. To me, it’s a measure of their heart. I’ll never forget the day my dad accidently ran over our cat. 😦 We couldn’t even be upset with him because he came in, sat down on the couch and wept. I think he loved that cat more than any of us. I LOVE a man who cries. Love it.

        • I think it takes a man strong in his masculinity to allow himself to cry–and the rest of the world be damned! It’s kinda the same principal as in the BDSM community. It takes a strong submissive to relinquish control to his/her dominant. At least that’s what I was told when I asked an online group of those in the lifestyle. One day I might write about that…

        • Awww, AJ, that your dad did that! Makes me wanna bawl right along with him! What a softie!! Love men who aren’t afraid to show what’s in their hearts!

  11. Go Vonnie, Go Vonnie… Great post ,love…And to add to that I too live in a house with ALL men. I have to say it is my duty as the mother of sons to raise wonderful husbands…Husbands that respect the strength and emotions of women. I hope I am doing us justice! Love your comment about the DNA of loving shoes vs loving sporting events (our TV seems to be permanently wired to MSG!) …not better or worse…just different…
    You are awesome Vonnie! Just love you!

    • Thanks, Josie! It’s a Mom’s duty to raise caring sons. To show them how a healthy marriage works. I’ll share. My youngest son has custody of his son. The mother walked out on both of them to be with an older guy with gobs of money, who turned out to be abusive as time went on. Mike, my son, has raised Ryan since he was fifteen months old. Ryan is now fifteen. When Ryan was six, Mike met this fantastic woman. Tina is like a whirlwind. Strong. Loving. Intelligent. And I adore her. She can’t have children, but in hooking up with Mike, she also got a chance at being a Mom. Talk about a perfect fit!!! Mike was dieting and working out like crazy to prepare for a body building show…and he was cranky. He loves his carbs as much as his momma and was not dealing well with having zero carbs. He snapped at Tina. She reared back like a diamond head snake and told him his behavior was unacceptable. Ryan was all eyes for he’d seen some violence and cow-towing by his biological mom on his visits to her place. I think he feared his real home would turn violent, too. Tina told Mike she and Ryan were going out for the afternoon and when they got back, he better damn well have made an attitude adjustment. LOL God, I’d love to have seen it. Mike is soooo alpha. Woot! Don’t ‘cha love it? In the car, Ryan asked Tina if she wasn’t afraid Dad would hit her. She told him real men don’t hit women. Yell, sure. Sulk, yeah. Hit, never. She also said, “If I know your dad, he’ll come out to the car and apologize as soon as we pull into the driveway.” And don’t you know he did? Ryan learned a lot from his “Mom” that day. She showed him a good example. If your man treats you badly, stand up for yourself. Love does not equal violence, even when it’s angry. So, keep teaching your sons, Josie. Have them set the table and load the dishwasher. Ryan can scrub a bathroom as clean as anyone–and does if he wants his allowance. There are no woman’s jobs and men’s jobs in a household…there are only jobs. Ohhh and listen to me ramble on and on. Sorry. Hugs, Josie!!

  12. Emily Allen says:

    Vonnie, you are out standing!! I loved this post. You really pugged the way man can be. I don’t thing I’ve heard it put quit like this.

    ROCK ON!!!

    • Men can be darlings. I love ’em to bits, but sometimes their way of putting down women to make themselves feel more “whatever” really gets my goat, Emily. The more I hear “you act like a girl”–as if that’s a bad thing–the more pissed I get. Thanks for stopping by, hon.

  13. Oh, I’m late to the party! What a great post, Vonnie. And congratulations on the NERFA and the celebration that came afterwards!

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