So…Why the heck was Eve created anyway?


Adam was ‘The Man’. He had it all; the body, the brains, the smarts to manage his perfect little world…So why bother with little ole’ Eve?
Cause man was not complete without woman…‘his’ world didn’t function…he needed something – different.

Complete as in how a glove needs a hand, a lyric needs a melody, or a burger needs fries…(and a chocolate shake!)
Or…at times like a bird needs a worm, a dog needs a cat,  or a shark needs his next meal.

But nonetheless, he needed someone different than him to engage with, to make him feel. Someone different to make him a better him! A woman, soft where he was hard, emotional where he was flatlined, multifaceted where he was focused. He needed someone to help him see himself in a different light, challenge his beliefs, and stretch his limits. (Hey! He could’ve said no to the proverbial apple…he CHOSE to have a chomp!)

I truly believe that every person we meet in this world, be it the love of our lives or the kid who held the elevator door, there is a purpose to that meeting, a purpose for our own growth.csbeauty

But how many times have we overlooked that person if he or she was different? The man who wore that weird hat and had the dirty beard, the lady with the blue eye shadow and the purse made out of rabbit feet, that kid in the wheelchair who kept staring at you in the grocery line? What opportunities have you passed up because of your self-imposed restrictions on who should be let into your circle of acquaintances?

Life is full of missed opportunities. Missed chances at learning , observing, participating…growing. Because of all those people we don’t take the chance to engage with.

cicadaWe have been inundated here in the NorthEast by cicadas. Billions of these weird prehistoric-looking bugs have crawled from the earth after a seventeen year larvae stage to climb into our trees, screech at deafening levels because of the sheer number of them, and mate. Just for the sake of creating nymphs that will fall out of the trees and go back into the ground to grow for another seventeen years.

What the f$#% is their purpose on this earth other than to shed their creepy nymphy exo-skeletons, fly all over freaking everyone out, and screech to the point you can’t have a conversation outside without yelling?

My seventeen year old niece, Meggy, asked me this very question right after she screamed her head off when one landed in her hair. “Why are they even here? They don’t do anything for anybody…”

Now, Meggy has a severely autistic older brother, Ryan. She has lived with him her whole life. Ryan is nineteen and still watches Sesame Street, plays with his trains and needs his mom, my amazing sister, to help him with all of his activities of daily care.  Ryan will never work, or drive a car, or win an award, or write a book, or raise children.  He’ll never play a sport, or sing, or act or be a reality show contestant. He will never contribute to society in the way our society views ‘contribution’. (Snort!)

So I asked Meggy…”Well, what about Ryan? Do you feel that way about him?”

Meggy thought about this for a while then started laughing.  She responded, “No, he definitely makes me a real patient person…and a better person, I think.”

Now…that’s what I call a contribution!

cswheelchairHow did we get to a place where kids bully the heavy kid, comedians joke about ‘retarded’ kids, women are awarded money and crowns for looking perfect(by society’s standards), community members shun the mentally challenged guy on the street trying to collect empties from the garbage can and physically handicapped kids are treated like anomalies to other ‘normal’ children?

Are we that afraid of what we don’t know? Isn’t it high-time to ‘pull an Adam’ and see just what the ‘other half’ might have to offer. We as women have so much influence in this world. We have a way of communicating and interacting and modeling behaviors to those around us…our children, our families, our friends…our influence and behaviors reach far and wide. Why not start today by showing others how we can open up to those individuals that in the past we may have overlooked, or just politely smiled at and walked away?

Some of the most interesting things I’ve learned about life and about myself I’ve learned by making a connection with people who intrigue me because they have a different look, a different lifestyle, maybe just a different outlook on life. Most people are very happy to talk about themselves.

How boring it would be if we only associated with people who were exactly like us. My friends tell me I could talk to a rock. I use caution, of course, but most often you will find me out in public chatting it up with a perfect stranger. I suppose it’s that vicarious experience that is fun for me. Imagining myself in their shoes, or learning something new about a different lifestyle or most often something about myself.

There are wonderful growth experiences out there! Just look at what Adam gained! Instead of sitting around alone thinking he was all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips in his fancy fig leaf sucking up coconut milk…he gave Eve a chance, (missing penis, boobs, and all!) and she taught him how to love and start a world.  csdeepfried

Cicadas do have a purpose, by the way. They have a song, they live for love by waiting fifteen years to find that special…bug. And they are also damn good eating, or so I’m told.

Different? Hell yay…but you never know what different might teach you. (I’d love to get this guy’s story!!!)csweird

What interesting new people have you met lately?

Have you ever felt the universe wanted you to meet a certain person for a specific reason?

What’s the best thing you’ve learned about yourself from a chance meeting?

Live in the moment, stay engaged and grow!

Love J



  1. Okay, I LOVE this post. Love it. It made me laugh and then cry! So great. I, too, am one of those folks who could talk to “a crack in the wall”. In fact, my kids dread going into any store with me because I am constantly starting conversations with complete strangers. The shoe store, the cosmetics counter…hell, I had a great conversation with an older gentleman in the meat department at WalMart last week. LOL Truth is, I love meeting people and chatting them up, much to the utter and complete horror of my children. You never know what little snippets of wonder they might add to your life. It’s all good.

    Oh and P.S. When my dh told me cicadas make good eating last week, I told him to have at it. He could catch ’em, cook ’em and serve ’em any way he wanted, but I was heading to McDonalds. I’d be back after all remnants were gone. *AJ shudders* Bleck.

    • Ha! love the comment about the cicadas. I’d gag before they’d even made it to my mouth. I’m always wondering who was the first person to eat a lobster, so they could tell everyone else. Wow, these taste great!

      • Josie Matthews says:

        Oooh Renee…I hate fish…all kinds…Im weird I know. But I too often think, “Who made this shit up?”
        But hey…all it’s what you’re used to…
        Love you!

    • LOL, AJ! You always make me laugh. 😀

      I’m also one who talks to strangers constantly. Maybe we should form a club…Josie?? “Crack in the wall yappers” ?? “Rock Talkers” ??? Today we were walking into the north door of the grocery store and I yelled across the parking lot at a woman who was exiting the south doors that she looked pretty in her head to toe yellow ensemble. She yelled back thank you and broke into the most beautiful smile. 🙂

      • Josie Matthews says:

        That’s awesome, Mist!!!! You made her day infinitely better Im sure!! It’s funny to think how decades ago whole communities would ban together to raise a barn…Now many of us don’t even know who the hell lives next door!!! Weird….
        Peace out, sista’!

  2. Josie Matthews says:

    Atta girl AJ!!! Way to give life hell!!! Someday those children are gonna march right in your footsteps and be just as awesome as you. You are a fabulous role model for them! You and I should take a vaca to NYC someday…Now THERE is a plethora of interesting people all just waiting to meet us! And as far as protein rich cicada kabobs? I’ll take a BigMac and fries!!!
    Love J

  3. Josie, great post! Just recently I saw where a woman who is overweight documented with pictures the way people stare and snicker at her. How cruel. She could have the most vivacious personality, but they chose to hurt her by gawking instead of engaging her in conversation. A very sad commentary on society.

    I’d also like to comment on one of the pictures you posted – the one with the little boy in the wheelchair. I’m hoping that the teacher didn’t realize how set apart he was from the other children. I’ve seen a larger picture of this photo, and that little guy has the biggest smile in the group. That smile says so much about his personality.

    • Great observation about the boy in the wheelchair having the biggest smile, Renee. Says a lot about his home life, doesn’t it? I too hope that teacher didn’t know…

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Renee, That picture killed me. There is no excuse for it. The teacher or the photographer should’ve realized it was a horrible thing to do. It was their responsibility as educators!!! That little guy is leaning in showing how much he wants to be part of the group. For God’s sake…put his chair in the center in the front,..shift the class to the right…have the assistant lift the child and place him on the bleacher with support….There is NO excuse for that pic but this is still the mindset of so many people who are frightened by what the dont understand. “I dont get it so I better stay clear.” These people are really missing out….

  4. What a fabulous post! This is so true of all kinds of differences.

    One example: Most people tend to view Catholic priests only one way (caveat: unless you’ve read THE SIREN – then all bets are off on this assertion, but then you’re probably an open-minded individual). Anyway, last night, the priest who married my husband and I (whom we haven’t seen in YEARS) stayed overnight at our house for an event in town. It just reinforced to me how “normal” of a man he is. We joked around, ate together, and talked way too late into the night.

    We all make different choices for our lives, but underneath it all, we’re really all the same in our need for belonging, acceptance and love.

    Thanks for this post, Josie! xoxo

    • Josie Matthews says:

      “We all make different choices for our lives, but underneath it all, we’re really all the same in our need for belonging, acceptance and love.”

      ‘Nough said, Mist! Right on target as always!

  5. Josie,

    What a moving post!

    As a photographer, that school picture ticked me off. I love that the boy was smiling, genuinely happy to be there. But I know for a fact, there are other ways to arrange a group photo. Yes, the alternate ways take a little extra time, but geez, these photos are forever. It wouldn’t have been hard to position the kids around him. Really make him part of the group. And I know the parents would have been thrilled.

    Sometimes people see only the differences (like the wheelchair) and cannot think past the object to the person cruising on it.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Mary, Thats such an interesting observation about not seeing ‘past the object’ to the person…
      Our society makes attempts at building those bridges to acceptance of diversity but we really havent come very far! Cultural/generational beliefs(prejudices) far overpower any advertising attempts at acceptance and understanding. The only hope is teaching our future generations to break the cycle. That’s where we come in!!
      Thanks Mary!

  6. I saw the title of this post and thought I was going to have another hearty “ChickSwagger Chuckle.” Instead, this post touched my heart.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Hey Ang! Yes…My more sentimental side is peeking out this week…Probably because we just packed and moved in with my parents until our house is built. Sex life is on hold, the toy box had to be packed away(ohhh….did I really say that?), and the stress levels are high until Im nesting in my own home again!
      This is a topic dear to my heart. The difficulties and horrible treatment my sister(a single mom!) has had in public due to her autistic son, Ryan’s, behavior has been heartwrenching. So its our job, Ang, as female role models, to hopefully change peoples perceptions of ‘differences’ to a more positive one. Many of us as writers, reach alot of thirsty minds…
      Thanks for being with me Ang!!! Love J

  7. Fabulous post, Josie! You had me reaching for the tissue box when I read Meggy’s response. Wow. Your sister should be so proud. It’s wonderful how children possess a kind of wisdom adults somehow seem to have lost. I’m amazed every day by the way my kids view the world 🙂

    I’m so envious of you extroverted ladies (and gents!). I sometimes struggle with speaking to strangers. I’m not necessarily shy, but just introverted. However, having little kids (who are darn cute–proud mama here), people are always coming up to us and chatting. My hubby too, is a hugely personable guy, which helps me out because I can snag onto his arm and smile while he chats up people. Lol. The man has many uses 😉

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Rachael, you’re right so right…it is tough for some people to put themselves out there…I seem to forget that sometimes. Just enjoying being around people and even being an interested observer is a wonderful way to learn about the world and all it has to offer. So you let that hubby do the chatting and you snuggle right up to him and soak up the ambiance!
      Ps…I bet those kids ARE damn cute!!!!

  8. Awesome post, dearheart. I have been fuming about the school picture for days. My youngest grandaughter was born with her right arm ending an inch below her elbow. Early sonograms show she had two hands, but sometime afterward, according to the doctor, uterine bands started to grow, blocking off half of my DIL’s uterus. Lauren grew in the remaining half. One of the bands grew around her arm and as she moved around, the band slowly amputated the lower part of her arm. We had no clue until she was born. We made a concerted effort to show her she was beautiful. For example, we’d kiss her only hand and then kiss the end of her other arm as a way to show her both were deserving of love. She has taught us so much about determination. You should see her do ballet or gymnastics or swim! She’s a whiz on her laptop and is in the advanced classes. And spunk! Whooo-eeee…the day a boy kept making fun of her in class and she glued his crayons to the bottom of his desk while he was in the restroom was the day I knew she’d be ok. Lauren–a second grader–was sent to the principal’s office. She asked him to call her dad–an assistant principal at a middle school. Steve left his school and rushed to hers, charging into the office for Lauren. When he found her, she filled him in. Steve asked the principal 2 questions. One…where was the teacher while the boy taunted his daughter AND while Lauren was out of her seat gluing the crayons? Two…why wasn’t the bullying boy in the office waiting on discipline, too? Kids who are different in one way or another are still lovable, worthwhile, teachable humans. They have a purpose. They add value in a very unique way. Did I say this was an awesome post??? Great…jusst great.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Wow Vonnie, What a great response….That little pip-squeek sounds like quite a chick with alot of swagger!!! Gotta love kids and how able and motivated they are to adapt to anything! Many times I have to tell my sister that its US who sit and mourn for Ryan because WE think he should have a better life. That kid is the happiest kid on earth, Ill tell ya!! He never lets anything get him down! This was such a great share from you…I can’t thank you enough.
      PS I bet Lauren gets her inner-tigress from you!!! Im gonna use that glue idea next time somebody pisses me off! I can think of alot of things to glue!!!
      Love Ya!!

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