Chicks and Roosters you’re in for a treat today! We have hilarious guest author AJ Nuest with us today yakking it up about rubbers!! Yep, you heard that right…Don’t be silly wrap your willy!
*cue the immature giggles*
Okay, okay. I’m out of here – right after I tell you that there’s a prize for everyone at the end of this post!!
How does a FREE BOOK sound?!
Oh, hell yeah. You’ll be all over that like silicone sheathing a nice hard…
Take it away, AJ, we love you!!
Oh, Co-on-dums! (sung to the tune of Oh, Canada!) Yep. You can thank me later. 🙂
Greetings everyone and a great big LET’S GET OUR SWAGGER ON to the fabulous Swagger Chicks for hosting me! I honestly can’t think of a funner group of ladies to be visiting with today! Whoot!
I’m actually here to discuss a very important issue.
Condoms and the variety of choices. And, honestly, who knew? As a mom of two who’s been married for over fifteen years, the birth of my second child followed by an agreed-upon vasectomy, birth control hasn’t been on my radar in…what? Eleven years?
But it’s an important topic in this day and age, especially if you’re like me and enjoy writing contemporary romance with a high level of sizzle. Doubly so if you’re crafting a strong heroine who’s a bit of a control freak—someone who would not only use a condom, but select one she liked and keep a supply on hand at all times. Besides, when it came down to the “gettin bizzy” portion of my story, I knew unless I wanted to open a huge can of worms (GASP! AJ’s un-wed characters have sex without a condom!) it would be important for me to take a moment and re-acquaint myself with the current protective measures commonly practiced for safe sex.
*AJ clears her throat and stands, glancing uncomfortably around the room.*
“Hi my name is AJ, and I have no idea what kind of rubber to choose for my heroine.”
Enter the condom research phase of She’s Got Dibs—followed by a strict regimen to consistently erase the history from my Google search bar in case aforementioned second child decided to play a round of Candy Crush on mom’s laptop. Oh, the horror of that conversation.
Tessa, my heroine, insisted I choose a condom that was right for her. Since I knew next to zilch about how condoms had evolved over the past ten years, who I was to argue?
Okay, so…cherry flavored? Hmmm… *AJ taps her fingers on the desktop as several interesting visuals come to mind. * That would definitely work. Or how about glow in the dark? The lights are off when Tessa and Dibs first enter that hotel room. Might avoid a little inept fumbling there. Wait…there’s the French Tickler. Interesting… Or how about something of the ribbed or studded variety? Maybe. Could always go with super-thin. Ooh, what about warming? That’d be good. Perhaps this issue warranted further investigation with my Head of Research and Development (aka my husband).
And then I stumbled upon something that caught my eye—the female condom. Evidently this contraceptive device has been around since the early 1980s. Again, who knew? It’s recently gained popularity among women and the whole idea behind it really appealed to me for Tessa. It just sounded “right” a take-charge woman like her would go this route…and my editor agreed. Female condoms are more flexible than their male counterparts, the rim provides added stimulation and protection and they can be inserted up to eight hours prior to intercourse. Huzzah! It was like an IUD or sponge without the danger of contracting an STD.
There was only one problem. Well, several actually, but the most important was my hero’s response to this mysterious contraption (not to mention the reader segueing off to do a little research of their own). Dibs is a smart, responsible guy. He would no doubt broach the subject since the outer ring hangs about an inch outside the vagina. So…what up with that conversation?
Dibs glances down between their naked bodies. “Um, you got something there.”
“It’s a condom.”
His brows draw together in a frown. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not the correct way it’s supposed to be used.”
“It’s a female condom. Just make sure the rim is fully extended before you enter.”
“Okay. Wait…how will I know if it’s fully extended?”
“You have to unroll it a little and make sure it’s centered. Don’t get close to me until you’ve got it perfect or we’re in deep shit.”
Talk about an arousal deflator. Then there was the whole “slippage” issue, which seemed a little murky to me. Afterward, the woman isn’t supposed to stand. There’s some twisting of the ends involved before condom removal and just…GAH! Quite frankly, my arousing “one-handed” sex scene started to take on all the sexual prowess of a gynecological exam.
Whoot! Go on with your steamy romance, AJ. Not.
In the end, I opted for a plain ol’ regular condom for Tessa and Dibs. After all, there can be some excellent foreplay involved in using the tried and true, and that’s where I wanted the focus to stay—on my characters and what they were feeling (and doing) to each other.
That being said, now I can’t help but wonder. Am I totally missing out here? Is there a pleasurable outcome to using a condom even when protection isn’t an issue? As one girl to another, do you have a favorite? And if so, which one?
One lucky commenter will be drawn from the hat and then I’m headin’ to the pharmacy. The winner will receive a box of condoms of their choice…and so will I. 🙂
Multi-published, award-winning author and editor, AJ Nuest, lives in a small farming community in NW Indiana with her loving husband, two beautiful children, and a bevy of spoiled pets. She and the cat are currently vying for dictatorship. The cat is winning.
She’s Got Dibs, won 1st Place in the Contemporary Category, Heartland Romance Authors, Show Me the Spark! Contest, 2010
***TODAY AND TOMORROW SHE’S GOT DIBS IS FREE AT AMAZON!***
Click the link to be taken to the site! 🙂
True love does not exist…or so event planner Tessa Adams learns the day she gets jilted—twenty-four hours prior to walking down the aisle. One-night stands are much easier, and with sexy philanthropists like David Brenner, how can she resist? Now if she could just get rid of him. Had she known the biggest event of her career would be working for David’s father, she would have cut and run. Instead, she’s unwittingly become a part of his parents’ plan to destroy his life-long dreams. Will sacrificing her love protect him or be the ultimate betrayal?
Wealthy and gorgeous, David Brenner seemingly holds the world in the palm of his hand—his generous heart and infectious smile are just two in an endless stream of attractive qualities. But the one thing he wants, he can’t have—a repeat of the passionate night he spent in the arms of a skittish Tessa Adams. His family’s far-reaching power threatens to crush their dreams. To prove his love, he would risk everything…but will the return of her ex-fiancé be their final undoing?
“Dibs.” He extended his hand.
Frowning, she accepted his greeting. “Dibs on what?
“No.” He chuckled. “That’s my name. Or well, actually, my nickname. Either way, it’s what everyone calls me.”
“O-o-okay…” The guy definitely had the smolder covered…and those incredible ice-blue eyes. Yikes!
“And you are?”
“Oh, Tessa Adams.” She laughed.
“And everyone calls you…?”
Her frown returned. “Tessa.”
“Oh.” He scanned her face. “No nickname, huh?”
“Not that I recall at the moment.”
He pressed his full lips together as if restraining a smile, eyes twinkling with merriment, and handed her the notepad. “Here’s your confirmation number. The room’s at the Waldorf Towers over on Park.”
Two suites at the Waldorf? In this mess? What was he, a wizard? “Wow, great. Thanks so much for the help.”
“Glad to be of service.” He retrieved his briefcase and started down the corridor, abruptly stopped, and peered at her over the perfect slant of his shoulder. “And don’t worry, Tessa, I’ll think of a good nickname for you.”
She offered him a blank stare. “Hey, knock yourself out.”
Mischief danced along his lips before a grin broke free and he continued down the hallway.
“What a whack job,” she muttered.
Hey Gang, Misty again…Can you believe this book is free? Find it here. And thanks for joining us today!! 🙂