What’s up gang?! Hope this summer is treating you well. It’s been hot as hell all over the US, and maybe you’ve already thought about using those ice cubes for more than your iced tea. They are SEXY in the bedroom. (If you’re staring at the screen with a big goofy grin right now, go on and grab your partner! We’ll wait right here. We’re awesome like that… 🙂
Better? (If you didn’t go anywhere, tuck that idea away for a more convenient time. For real. Because it’s just too fun not to.)
ANYWAY, we are freakin’ thrilled to have Chick Crasher LIZ EVERLY – sexy culinary romance author – with us today talking about two of our favorite things: FOOD and bow chicka wow wow. I’ve had the pleasure of following Liz’s group blog, Lady Smut, for a while now, and it’s not only hot, but intelligent and witty. Two thumbs up!
Take it away, Liz!!
Both food and sex are appetites that go beyond simple needs—both delving down into primitive longings for comfort and as a steamy culinary romance author, I like to think this is what I tap into when I write. But when I Googled “food with sex” the first item to come up in a long list of questionable blog posts suggested placing a doughnut around your man’s penis and eating it off.
Hmmm. If that idea turns you on, I say go for it—but as for me, if my husband approached me with a doughnut on him, I might fall over laughing. (Of course, humor does have a place in the bedroom. But maybe not it this case?)
I might rather enjoy the doughnut in between zesty lovemaking sessions or the next morning for breakfast. But that’s just me. I think some of us watched 9 1/2 Weeks way too much. You know the scene I’m talking about, with the food and the refrigerator and OH MY. I mean, yeah, it’s sexy to watch. But who would want to clean up after it? And am I the only one thinking that’s sort of an infection waiting to happen?
All that said, I believe in the power of good food to set the mood for a romantic evening. Taking care of your body remains one of the sexiest things you can do for yourself and your lover. Feeding your body good food counts toward that goal. Also, feeding one another can be a lusty experience—one that can be as intimate as intercourse.
Of course taking someone to the hospital with a vegetable or fruit lodged inside of them can also be an intimate—albeit embarrassing—experience. So if you have a certain lust for fruits and vegetables to be used like this, you should definitely consider the size of them—so as not to lose them and create a painful situation. Also, make sure they are clean, since much of our fruits and vegetables come with chemicals and other things on their skins.
Some of my food scenes do involve licking of food from one another. So far, my characters have been doused in chocolate, honey, and butter. But my characters don’t drop it onto or lick it off sensitive areas—because well, that can be bad news. And that bad news can lead to decidedly unsexy states—like infections or hospital visits.
Common sense rules apply to good sex-food play. For example, stay away from oily and sugary products below the waist. If you insist on using them, please keep them on the outside of the body. Both oil and sugar encourages growth of yeast and bacteria. Nobody wants that. Pretty un-sexy, wouldn’t you say?
Of course you will want to clean after your mess. But leave the body to it’s own natural lubrication devices. Also, don’t use douches or enemas after sex play with food because it might push food residue into the body. (Yep. I went there.) This increases risks of bacterial growth or infection. Once again, nobody wants that.
Also, never use food with spices, especially cinnamon, menthol, cloves, or mint. Because, well, OUCH. Unless, of course, ouch is what you want.
As in all sex-play, it’s just a delicate matter of common sense, fun, and what works for you. So go forth, my friends, and play!
Misty wants to know…What food-sex play have you indulged in? Any tips or ideas you can share?
Could she work with a man who was in love with her? Was Jackson in love with her? Sometimes when he looked at her, she wondered. How could she maintain the distance she needed to work, to write, to breathe? What would happen to their partnership if it went bad? She could feel his eyes on her. His camera on her. And there was a change in his sarcastic, cocky behavior. Maybe it was the head injuries. Maybe she was just imagining his interest in her.
In any case, they had work to do. She focused on the truffles. Working and relationships didn’t mix. One failed “working” relationship after the other in college taught her that lesson.
Now, here I am in Italy, safe and sound for the time being, living the dream of every food writer.
“Hard to imagine these ugly little truffles are so delicious,” she said to Jackson, as they walked toward the villa.
“Better than the jellyfish?”
“Ah, no, I don’t think so. I was surprised I like them,” she said. Mr. Mei Lei had carefully prepared jellyfish for her dinner on her last evening in Hong Kong. They weren’t fishy at all and she loved the golden-ink color of the gel and the way it felt, so smooth, on her tongue, all the way down into her throat.
“I’m surprised you remember how much I liked the jellyfish,” she said.
“Why?” he said, tilting his head just so and she imagined tilting her head the other way, just so. Lips on lips. Tongues twirling. The memories of their kiss tugged at her.
“I just didn’t think you were paying attention,” she said.
“You’d be surprised what I see when it looks like I’m not paying attention,” he said, moving closer to her. She could see, now, the faint pink tint around his nose and lips from the cold. He grinned. Don’t do that, don’t look at me like that while I’m trying to work. Don’t look at me as if you know exactly what I’m thinking, as if you know exactly what to do with all these body parts standing at attention, tingling.
She looked away at the resting dogs.
”Time to call it a day,” someone said.
Maeve wandered away from Jackson, leaving him alone with his camera, but her thoughts lingered.
About Liz Everly
Liz Everly is the author of the Saffron Nights series, published by e-Kensington. The first book, SAFFRON NIGHTS was published in January 2013; the second book in the series, CRAVINGS, will be published in November. Liz writes, plays, and cooks in a tiny house with a big garden. She writes under a pen name to escape expectations and to embrace all possibilities. Website: http://www.lizeverly.wordpress.com. She also blogs at http://www.ladysmut.com. She is also on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
Don’t forget to let us know what food-sex play you’ve indulged in! Any tips or ideas you can share?