Hiiii! *waving* Naima Simone here, and I’m one of the new chicks to Chick Swagger. I’m so freakin’ excited to be counted among these amazing women and authors! I feel like a rock star! Like Pat Benatar “Love is a Battlefield” rock star!
So, one night while watching TV aka brainstorming for the next book, a commercial came on that had me going, “Aw hell naw!” and rolling on the bed in laughter. ID Discovery has a show called “Karma is a Bitch”, and the next episode was all about a man who “repurposed” his ex-wife’s wedding dress.
When Kevin Cotter’s wife left him after twelve years of marriage, she left behind her wedding dress in their closet. When he asked her what was he supposed to do with it, her reply was, “Whatever the f*ck you want.”
Famous last words.
What followed was a blog–then book–about 101 uses for his ex-wife’s wedding dress. Hilarious!!
With help from his family, Kevin has used his ex’s dress as super hero cape, the boat sail for a pirate ship at his local miniature golf course, a hammock, a shower curtain, a jump rope, a go-cart parachute, a slip ‘n slide… The man is definitely inventive. And OMG, HILARIOUS!!
So it started me thinking… If my husband ever–EVAH!!–woke up one morning with a death wish and decided to leave me, what would I do with his most prized possession–his Mets baseball cap? First, I would have to steal it from him because he would never be dumb enough to leave it behind…
Then I would…
1. Pooper scooper – I mean, who didn’t see this one coming? I don’t have a dog, but I would go to the park at the end of my street and just volunteer to pick up poop. Oh, you don’t have a scooper and baggie? Well whatdya know? I have a 2-in-1! No, no! Let me!
2. Bird feeder – We don’t have one of these either, but I would build one just for this purpose. All that seed. Feeding the birdies. And if they had to reliiiieeve themselves afterward, well…it’s nature.
3. Flower pot – Forget Michael’s! How cool would a sports-themed flower pot be? Yeah, I have a black thumb–and I aint talking about the one I was born with–but when one plant dies, I could use the mulch for the next one. Look at me, all environmentally conscious and sh*t!
4. Dog frisbee – Again, not much for exercise, nor do I have a dog…but once more, I’m sure the park at the end of the street has a playful pooch that would just loooove to toss the ol’ frisbee around! What’s some teeth marks and drool if the dogs are having fun?
5. Lightning bug catcher – What else to do on hot summer nights besides drink lemonade with a shot of sumthin’ and catch lightning bugs? If a few get squashed in there, well…there are always casualties. And at least the cap will glow in the dark!
6. An ice scraper – We don’t get a ton of snow in the South but the past few years we’ve had some storms! And the bill of the cap would take care of that stubborn ice that covers the windshield. Better than a CD cover!
7. Athletic cup – Now I’m more of a dip-hand-in-bag-of-potato-chips-pop-in-mouth exercise kinda girl instead of running or aerobics. I like to work out my arms and hand-eye, er, mouth coordination. But for the cause I would take up baseball. And as I learned from the bicycle bar long ago, girls need cups, too. So I’d don me some baseball pants and the cap would become the protector of my pocketbook!
8. Fanny pack – I know, I know. Who wears fanny packs anymore? But if Justin can bring sexy back I can bring The Pack back! Wallet, tissue, tampons, all right there… Seriously, I think we gave up on fanny packs too soon. We didn’t allow their full potential to peak…
9. Catch-all beauty supply drawer – I’ll be the first to admit I’m pretty sloppy when it comes to rollers, bobby pins, head bands, etc. So what a handy-dandy way to collect everything in one spot. Call me organized!
10. Soap dish – Personally, I think this is ingenious. No bars of soap constantly slipping off the holder and dropping to the tub, clipping off the corners. And it could actually hold more than one at a time! Imagine having a non-slip dish that holds two bars at once without them ending up a double-decker glued together by water, suds and funk?
This is a book deal in the making….
Soooo, what item of your husband’s (past, present, future) would you use and abuse in the name of repurposing?