Yes, Virginia….You CAN Touch Yourself!

masterwoman3May is National Masturbation Month! 

(Hold on…I know I’ve got a Ukranian folk costume in my closet somewhere…)masterukrain

It’s time to celebrate being women in the 21st century.




Main Entry: mas·tur·ba·tion
Pronunciation: secondarystressmas-tschwar-primarystressbamacr-shschwan
Function: noun
: erotic stimulation especially of one’s own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies
mas·tur·bate /primarystressmas-tschwar-secondarystressbamacrt/ verb



Did you know:

  • Masturbation can relieve pain (backaches, period pain, headaches…your body releases oxytocin…a natural pain reliever.)
  • Masturbation can ward of those nasty yeast infections (just DON’T use your own saliva as lubricant)
  • Masturbation makes you more open to sex…makes you want it more…your partner will thank you!
  • Masturbation helps with insomnia (your body releases dopamine…a relaxant!)
  • Masturbation helps with stress (that dopamine again!)
  • Masturbation helps you to know what you like…

Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!

So what is it with us girls that we feel naughty if we touch ourselves?  It’s a God-Given right and talent for men to ‘whack off’!! It’s probably one of the sexiest things we’ve ever seen! (And if you haven’t….please do!)


Oooops! Not this dufus…

Ahhh...much better...

Ahhh…much better…

           masterdesire-passion-love-woman-31000Joley watched him pull away from his conquest, tear off his condom and take himself into his own hand.

            Her breath was torn from her lungs. If it weren’t for the lingering moans of his bedmate, she was sure the woman    would’ve heard her.

            She couldn’t look away from his eyes, couldn’t risk seeing the man who’d ruined her for all in such an erotic practice.

            He obviously couldn’t look away from her either, his focus on her gaze binding them in a primitive merging.

            The intimacy was too much. She needed to break his spell so she did the only logical thing and let her focus drop to the hand that was wrapped tightly around his…his…

            Holy shit…

            Her eyes widened at the sight. He stroked himself in long fluid movements, the muscles in his tan forearms flexing with each sensual pull of the most impressive piece of flesh she’d ever imagined.

            The stories must then be true. Sex could be pleasurable.

            Because that weapon of ecstasy looked plenty capable of pulling a few of those so-called orgasms out of a multitude of fridig, unsuspecting femalmastermanes.

             It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. So honest…so intimate. Something she’d yearned for her whole life. The freedom to enjoy something so…primal. 

            Her attention was transfixed to the strong hand that stroked his rock hard flesh…to the drop of semen that beaded at the engorged head.

            That was when she knew her life would never be the same.

She wanted so much to reach down and touch herself, to ignite her throbbing flesh along with him. But she didn’t dare, didn’t really know how.

            She risked a quick glance back to his knowing gaze. His beautiful pale green eyes hooded and filled with ecstasy, they’d never left hers.

            She could tell by the increase in his breathing, the clenching of his jaw  muscles and the tightening and movement of the large muscles in his arms that he was near his limit. When his face took on a feral grimace and a growl escaped his throat she let her eyes drop from his again…and watched…as his cock jerked and spasmed in powerful waves sending his come across the bed.     

            Her mouth was dry. Her underwear were wet. She licked her lips and glanced back to the face that had changed so much in the last twelve years, yet a face she knew so well.     

            That’s when she saw it. The bead of sweat that trickled down his temple, his sensual mouth quirked into a small smile…

and then he winked.

            The bastard.

(A little snippet from my cuuuuuurrrrrrent (4 years current!) piece of work!)

So why do most women feel it is so wrong!

masterstatueCause no matter what…when it comes to sex, society is STILL living in the stoneage.  We are caught in a technological war where sex is portrayed as filthy and pornographic giving the romantic, sensual healthy sex we here at ChickSwagger all believe in a bad name!

It’s time to start a revolution girls! Time to take back our right to make sex a beautiful, healthy practice! Time to stock that toy box with goodies! (Check out sexology-101-giggle-giggle-for-adults-only  in our archives for more tidbits! and show that partner what you’re made of! Masturbate for him / her. Make them wild with need!

So….how the hell DO you masturbate?

Here are a few starting points!! (not that I’m an expert or anything…snicker, snicker)

There are actually a few types of orgasms a woman can have! (lucky us!!)

A clitoral orgasm (that little bundle of nerves at the top of your labia, you masterwomanknow…those orgasms you’ve been having since seventh grade…on the edge of your math class seat, mom’s washing machine, that abcrunch machine at the gym…(don’t ask!))

A  G-spot/Vaginal orgasm (the G-spot is actually the inner workings of the clitoris!)  Wooo Hoot!!! (Rachel is throwing that glitter shit right now…)

You need to find some much needed privacy, some lube and maybe a really great, sexy scene in your favorite book and find your inner explorer.

Then Play With Yourself!!!!  Find out what makes you tingle, what hurts, and what drives you wild! (oh, PS…that G-spot thing is on the front masterwoman5wall of your vagina about 1.5 inches up…if you reach in there and fiddle around you may just find “it DOES exist!!!!”)

The clitoris is your best bet when starting off. Be sure you are well lubricated (that awesome sex scene in your favorite book should’ve done the trick!). Use your fingers to circle your clitoris, all the folds of your labia (remember…the clitoris extends underneath your labia down the sides of your vagina!!) and the entrance to your vagina. Find out what type of pressure, speed, touch you like…what makes you orgasm…

masterwoman4When you become an expert at knowing your body…Show your partner what you like! Masturbate for him…Talk to him…guide him…there is nothing sexier than a woman who is eager and can ask for what she wants.  Put Sister Mary Margaret and her words of fear and ignorance right out of your head and find pleasure in your own body and your mate’s!

There is nothing more simple and sacred than sharing something so intimate and erotic.

What is your view on masturbation?   Could you do it for your mate?  Does/would it turn you on to see your mate pleasure themselves? As a kid were you brainwashed?

(psssst….He’s watching you!!!) (I just really liked this pic so had to add him….tee hee…)




  1. Jerrie Alexander says:

    We’ve come a long way, but not far enough. Thankfully, women are much more open these days. While it might be a tough conversation to have, our daughters need to know it’s okay to get to know their bodies.

  2. We’ve come a long way, baby! 🙂 It was NOT talked about when I was a kid. Thankfully, the book, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask, came out and changed the way women viewed their body and sex. We became pioneers in the sexual revolution!

    There was an updated version released in 2000. I haven’t read that one, but the original version stayed on my coffee table for both my kids to read.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      You are awesome Jerrie!! What a forward thinking Mom… Im still trying to get over the fear of being a filthy girl!! Lordy what some parents will do to their kids…There IS a happy medium out there! ❤

  3. When my kids were curious, I told them – Nothing is off limits as long as you and your partner are happy. Be courageous and explore.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Great words Sandra!! I think man-made religions have alot to do with the censurship (sp?)as well. For each of us that empower future generations of healthy sexual adults Im afraid there are probably many more out there who are threatened by the world of sex. I blame th e skewed world of nasty porn /technology as they cheapen the healthy, meaningful aspects of sexuality…

  4. I *am* tossing glitter all over this post, Josie! Whoot! Love it 🙂 And first off, I’m still fanning myself from that scene! Send more, girl! You’ve been holding out on me *pouts*

    “the romantic, sensual healthy sex we here at ChickSwagger all believe in”… You’ve nailed it perfectly! Being comfortable and open with ourselves (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) is a key ingredient in being able to share ourselves with others 🙂

    Oh, and if you don’t know what’s normal going on down there (like in my post on the Great Wall of Vagina), how are you going to know when something’s wrong? Let’s get to know our bodies, ladies! 🙂

    • Josie Matthews says:

      * pulling glitter off my eyelids…* Thanks Rach!!! (I keep forgetting the ‘e’ in your name!) And you are soooooo right! We have to know what’s goin’ on donw unda’ so we know when we might need some help!! There is so much great, dependable literature out there! And don’t forget the great ‘idea producing’ literature called ROMANCE NOVELS ! Me and hubby get some of our best ideas from them!! And we don’t even have to be 18 to bu them! (or wear a hood at the checkout!)

  5. Great post! Is May really National masturbation month? LOL. First, let me say I practically fell out of my chair watching the clip from Not Another Teen Age Movie. Hilarious! Then I read that hot snippet from your MS. *Fanning self* You better finish that book! Yummy! I totally agree with what you wrote, but I think, or at least I hope, that attitudes are changing and women are feeling less shame exploring their bodies.

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Just when I think things are getting better, Renee, I hear something crazy come out of someones mouth. Alot of parents are all talk till their kids get to ‘that age’. Then they are like..”Hey! No way am I talking to my kid about that…my kid is staying locked up tight and Im gonna send them all pictures of what could happen to them if they have sex…”
      and I can’t blame them…having a hormonal teen in this day and age is SOOO freakin’ scary…but we have to do our best to mold mature, confident adults who celebrate their sexuality responsibly. We spend more time touting communication to keep a marraige in line when maybe we should give sexuality the spotlight as well! What bonds two people tighter than such a tightly shared intimacy?

  6. What a great post Josie! The more familiar women are with their own sexuality, the less likely they are to be victimized. They tend to recognize boundaries clearly, have more self confidence, and are better equipped emotionally when put in a potential date-rape situation. I’m not saying it will stop a rape from occurring, but it strengthens a victim’s resolve to report and not blame themselves for their attackers crimes.
    So yes, it’s completely healthy for a woman to know every inch of her body, in every way 😉

    • Amen to this, Kym!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Kym! This is what I love about chickswagger! Our hens are so diverse and come to the table with so many different viewpoints and backgrounds! You’re insight is amazing…I never even thought of this aspect! What a great argument for educating our daughters the right way about their power and their sexuality!!

  7. Hey, I want to read about her putting him on his knees!

  8. Josie, yes, yes, YES!!! 😉

    I loved that scene…Joley and Dylan are….oooolala!! I agree with the other chicks, we need more of these passages.

    I regularly make my kids (9 and 11) giggle when I talk so frankly about “penises” and “vaginas.” In fact, this weekend, when we were doing tick-checks after being at the lake, I showed my daughter how to use a mirror to check herself out. I said exactly what Rachael said, “if you don’t know what’s normal with your labia and vagina, you can’t take care of yourself.” She smiled, and I left the bathroom. 🙂

    Great post as always. Love you, girl!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      What a great mom you are, Misty! Like I told Renee…Many parents have great intentions but when faced with “if I talk promote it my child might become promiscuous!” they back away. A great selling point for Responsible Open Communication!!! Woo Hooooo! You go girl!

  9. Wow, Josie! That scene…I’m speechless. You know I need to read more of that, right? You little tease! 😉

    And you have to be psychic. Seriously. Perfect timing on the post (apparently for Misty, too!). My 11 year old son had sex education a few weeks ago and has been peppering me with occasional questions about sexuality ever since. Yesterday, he found me in the garage (don’t ask! LOL) and said, “Mom, what is masturbation?” So I explained it all to him.

    Now you guys don’t know my son, but he’s very analytical, even at his age. When I finished telling him what it was, he looked me directly in the face, deadpan, and said, “Is there a downside to masturbation?” My response? “Don’t do it in public or you can get arrested like PeeWee Herman.” Then I had to spend the next ten minutes explaining who the hell PeeWee Herman was. Shit. That was WAY worse than talking about masturbation.

    Another great post, Josie!! Love it!!

    • LOL, it seems more and more moms are having ‘the talks’ with their sons. Yay, moms!

      • It came down to me or his dad. Had he asked his father, I don’t know where that conversation would have ended up…probably no where I wanted it to go, though. LOL

    • Josie Matthews says:

      I used to LOVE Pee Wee Herman!! I can do a perfect impersonation of him…well…not the masturbating in public part…but the voice! Poor guy….
      Yay Alison!!! And your little guy! He must feel reeeeeeeeally comfortable with you and trust you so much to ask you such questions! That is AWESOME!!! I used to teach human sexuality to 7th and 8th graders for the catholic church. (snicker snicker) and it shocked me how many kids had NO ONE ever talk to them about sex! They had so many awesome questions and were so honest! (and silly as you can well expect…) Let’s be role models for other parents and spread the word!

    • naimasimone says:

      ROFL!! I’m just picturing that conversation and am rolling!!

  10. Personally, i find watching my man masturbate quite a turn-on. He enjoys it, too, so I loved reading the scene you wrote. Whoot!!! I’ve come a long way from the uptight, religious upbringing I had in the 50’s and 60’s. Like sex was for Saturday night, with the lights off, missionary style and one shot only (pardon the bad pun). It took me years to break down all those barriers, but once I did what a wonderfully freeing experience. I first masturbated at the age of 7, quite by accident. I rolled over my doll in bed and thought, “Wow, what was that???” A few more “rolls” and I was in nirvana. Now I did have enough sense to keep that all to myself…had no clue what I was doing…only that it felt damn good. I was a teenager before I understood. Great post, hon. Fabulous!!

    • Josie Matthews says:

      Oh V…you always make me smile! Just adore the doll story!!! Lots of kids are discover themselves this way I bet! Even in school I often have to speak to little ones about doing ‘it’ in the classroom and they don’t even know what ‘it’ is yet! That’s how natural it is. I tell them its okay just to save it for a more private place. 🙂

  11. naimasimone says:

    Hold on. I need to get this out first: WHOO-HOO on the excerpt! More! More! More! That was sexy as hell! I need my church fan for that one!

    I love this post! Why was I glued to every word? LOL! When that day comes when my daughter asks me about masturbation, I think I’m just gonna pull up this post, plop the lap top down, point, and say, Read! LOL!

    I remember when I was about fourteen, we were all piled in my grandmother’s station wagon on the way to a wedding, and my uncle–it was a big station wagon!–who was a counselor at Planned Parenthood at the time, took a piece of paper and drew a diagram of the vagina and labeled the parts, showing my sister, cousin, and I where our working organs were. So not as creepy as that sounds now that I’m reading it back. You have to know my uncle. He believed–still does–that knowledge is power, and sexual awareness is freeing and empowering. Truth be told at the time, I felt more embarrassed for my cousin because it was her father doing the drawing, labeling and explaining. LOLOL!!

    This was great, Josie!! I laughed and learned some things. Don’t ask what because I’m too embarrassed to admit which things… I have to confess I’m not as open and free as one would think because of what I write. As a matter of fact the first time my hubby read one of my love scenes he looked at me, eyes wide, and ask, You like that? And then I’m like, Hold up there, hoss. Fiction! I’m not a prude, I’m just a bit more shy than the average bear…Hee-hee!

  12. Josie Matthews says:

    Oh Naima…you are doomed!!! Be prepared to expand you’re horizons!! (That’s a great slogan for the hen house!!!) I’m really shy too…and we really need to work to get over that! I love to talk and discuss and get on my soapbox but when it comes to the bedroom? Ill try anything but you wont see me saying’ “Hey hon…could you try a little more to the left?” I think…no…I know it was my strict ‘sex is for sluts’ upbringing… I guess that’s why Im so passionate about women’s freedom in sexuality…because I AM a prude in naughty girl’s clothing!
    And kudos to Uncle! What a great empowerment to actually have a man tell young girls they are beautiful loveable in everyway! The rumor is…a woman’s most definining relationship is the one they have with their father…


  1. […] can I top Josie’s blog, Yes, Virginia…You can touch yourself […]

Leave a Reply to Rachael Slate Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: